


I ran to the phone

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, M/M, Smut, side seho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-09-24 18:56:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9780608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kyungsoo is in a toxic relationship but his new friend makes him feel a little better.





	1. New friend

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for mistakes, english it's not my native language but i'm trying hard.

Kyungsoo had enough. He stood up from the couch so fast that he saw stars in front of his face. He just ignored them. He took his wallet, jacket and left not taking care of closing the door. He had enough of waiting for Jongin to came back from work. It was another day of waiting, maybe another week. He didn't count the times Jongin made him feeling disappointed. His boyfriend was promising him that this evening they will spend together, with dinner and hugs and other things Kyungsoo misses really much. But 11 pm already passes and Kyungsoo didn't believe in Jongin's words anymore. 

Outside was really cold. He didn't know if he was more angry or sad, but he knew that he need to have a drink and he needs someone to drink with him. He bought his two favorites wines and hide them under his jacket, shaking from cold.

He wasn't paying attention to his red cheeks and nose. Kyungsoo was looking like he just got out the bed or like he was fucking homeless. He couldn't just care about those little things when his mind was full of Jongin. Black haired boy didn't even think about calling to his friend and tell him that he will come with alcohol and with all his sadness and that he will take all his evening just to cry in his arm and complain about his boyfriend. Well, if he's not gonna be in the home, Kyungsoo will probably just start drink in front of his door. Alcohol is his favorite escape from the reality. Sehun knows the situation very well. He knows how bad Kyungsoo feels when his boyfriend chooses job instead of him. He always accepted Kyungsoo with open arms when he regularly was visiting him with alcohol and tons of complaints.

Thank god the door were opening. One look on chilly and gloomy boy standing in the door and Sehun already knew why he came. Taller take the smaller into his arms and they entered the warm and comfy flat. Kyungsoo always adored the atmosphere inside Sehun's flat. Sometimes he felt better here than in his own house. It was his second home. And Sehun was like his brother. They were always together always for each other. Kyungsoo was grateful.

Kyungsoo by taking off his shoes he saw another pair of shoes which for sure don't belong to Sehun. He looked up at Sehun with his forehead furrowed

-My friend is here, he won't disturb you, won't he?

Kyungsoo didn't give him an answer, he wanted to be alone with Sehun, he didn't want to meet someone new looking and feeling like shit.

-He is almost in your age, you will like him. Come one silly.

In one hand Sehun was holding two bottles of wine and in another one, he was holding Kyungsoo close to his body. Kyungsoo was so needy right now, he wanted all Sehun's attention. He was feeling like he would need special treatment.

In the living room, first thing Kyungsoo saw was the stranger, sitting in his favorite place on the couch. The stranger, with light, red hair was busy writing something, but then he looked up at Kyungsoo and smiled very warmly.

-I will go for the glasses for wine.

Sehun leaves, leaving Kyungsoo with the stranger all alone. Kyungsoo was really in his worst mood bu he had manners so he offers his hand to the redhead. The stranger stood up and Kyungsoo has to take his head higher because Sehun's friend was really big. So his hands. Kyungsoo squeezed it a little and forced a smile.

-Hi. I'm Kyungsoo.

Black haired boy said shyly, feeling the taller eyesight on himself.

-Nice to meet you. Sehun was talking a lot about you.

Kyungsoo was feeling uncomfortable. He wasn't that type of person who likes to meet new people, he had a group of best friends and that was enough for him. He wishes that Sehun could just come back. What takes him so long?

-So..what he was saying about me?

Kyungsoo asked in a hoarse voice just to make the tall boy speak, cause he was still staring. Kyungsoo didn't want to know what this guy was thinking about him right now. He guessed that the question made tall boy embarrassed because he laughed nervously, but still, his laugh was loud.

-He said that you are his really best friend, like best bestie, that's his words. - Redhead laughed again - He also said that I need to meet you, so, here are we and I'm really happy about that.

-So do I.

Kyungsoo answered without that big enthusiasm. 

He was never rude to the strangers, Kyungsoo just wished he could meet Chanyeol in a better way with better mood. Not in the time when he felt tears coming through his eyes when he let himself think about Jongin.

-Did I interrupt you in something?

Kyungsoo broke the silence and sat next to Chanyeol who took the sheaf of paper in his hands.

-Actually-

-You saved us.

Sehun interrupted them, walking into the living room with glasses and wine.

-We need to take a break from the work.

Sehun sat next to his small bestie who immediately snuggled up to his chest. He hides his face in the crack of his neck and at the time he felt how much his heart hurts him. He was waiting for the moment when he finally could pour out of self all his emotions. He didn't think it would come before drinking the wine. In the living room, there was a silence and only thing you could hear was Kyungsoo's sobbing. Sehun exchanged his gaze with Chanyeol. Redhead boy was confused, maybe he thought that with Kyungsoo this evening is gonna be fun and nice. He didn't have the time to notice in what condition he was.

-Pour the wine, Chan.

Sehun said with the calmest voice Chanyeol ever heard, his hand was caressing Kyungsoo's back, just like everything is okay, but he guesses it's not. Kyungsoo didn't get up from Sehun's shoulders for like thirty minutes when Sehun and Chanyeol already drank the whole glasses of wine. 

Finally, he stood up and immediately went straight to the bathroom. He didn't want to show anyone his snotty and red face. Sehun just sighed, really hard, rubbing his eyes. It really hurts him to see Kyungsoo feeling that way. 

-Maybe..maybe I should go?

Chanyeol asked, sounded more seriously than ever.

-Stay, Chan. We had a lot of work to do with this - he pointed at the papers on the table - and with him.

Sehun moved to the elder just to start another work for school because knowing very well Kyungsoo - he will use Sehun's shower to feel a little better.

And he was right.

After a long time, Kyungsoo came back to the living room. With his wet hair and in Sehun's shirt, which was obviously too big for him, the shirt stopped in the middle of his naked thighs.

-Why did you drank the whole bottle.

He sounded offended but for Sehun and Chanyeol it was just cute. They both looked at him for a while, but Chanyeol's gaze was just too long on Kyungsoo than it should be.

-I think that you shouldn't drink anything today, Soo.

Sehun said with a concern in his voice knocking over a stack of paper. The smaller looked at that moment at Chanyeol, who still was looking at him, Kyungsoo could feel it. Redhead abashed and looked away.

-Did you take again my shirt?

Sehun asked, not looking at his friend, but he knew perfectly that the smaller took again something from his wardrobe. But it was okay for him, he liked that Kyungsoo was feeling comfy in his flat. He could have Kyungsoo here every day in his every shirt, but Jongin was too possessive and Kyungsoo would do anything Jongin says.

-I _want_ and I _need_ to have a drink.

-Don't act like a child. Did you eat something today?

Kyungsoo just shook his head. 

-Go and eat something. And don't touch the wine.

He said firmly, but he smiled because Kyungsoo did everything he say without any denial

Kyungsoo could hear the talk in the living room, but his stomach was talking to him so he decided to take care of the food, not of the conversation.

At that time Sehun heard the vibration of Kyungsoo's phone. He let himself take the cell in his hand and he rolled his eyes when he saw the name **"My Jongin"** on **the screen.**

-Hello?

-Kyungsoo?

-No, Sehun.

A long time ago Sehun was close with Jongin, but he didn't talk with him for a while when Jongin started to act differently.

-Um..is Kyungsoo with you?

-Yeah, he is, but I don't think that he would like to talk with you.

He pressed the phone to his ear by his shoulder and he drank the wine with Chanyeol, who was watching him with interest.

-Could you take him to the phone?

-Did you do not understand what I've just said? He doesn't want to talk to you. I will tell him to call you when he wanted to. Bye.

Sehun usually was really friendly and nice to everyone, but he couldn't be like that to Jongin when Kyungsoo was feeling like he was feeling because of Jongin.

After a while Kyungsoo came back to the living room with a hot plate, he wasn't aware of Sehun's talk with Jongin. He sat at the end of the sofa because he didn't want to disturb their work. It was enough for him just to be near Sehun and he was feeling a little lighter. He was feeling better, just a little better because Sehun was always with him and he was always caring about him.

Sehun from time to time was asking Kyungsoo some stuff just because he didn't want Kyungsoo to feel alone.

-My eyes are closing.

The voice was thick and Kyungsoo just remembered that with him and Sehun there was the third person, he almost forget about him.

-Can I help you somehow?

Kyungsoo asked looking at his best friend. Sehun pointed at his plate and opened his mouth. Kyungsoo smiled softly, taking a piece of his pancake and put it in Sehun's mouth. He looked hesitantly at Chanyeol and he decided to give him a bite too.

-Let's have a break. - Sehun said, standing up - I will go take a shower. Chan, you know where the fridge is.

Before leaving the living room Sehun crouched in front of Kyungsoo and he rubbed his glazed eye, sighing deeply.

-Are you staying for the night?

-Can I?

-You know you do.

They both smiled poorly.

-Chanyeol is staying too. But he will fit, don't worry.

Soo shook his head, Sehun's friend wasn't now that big deal for him. He was okay.

-We will talk later, okay?

He shook his head again and Sehun's gone. Chanyeol, after all, didn't leave the papers and he was still writing something.

-I thought you are taking a break. 

Chanyeol smiled, putting down the papers, then he took his glass with wine and he drank everything he had. He turned his head to Kyungsoo, his eyes stopped for a while, just a short while on Kyungsoo's thighs. He didn't feel uncomfortable, now he was staring at Kyungsoo's glassed eyes.

-Why I am seeing you here first time?

Kyungsoo asked with curiosity, taking his shirt down to the ankles and then he put his chin on his knee, watching Chanyeol.

-I just moved here. I knew Sehun earlier, but I couldn't see him when I wasn't living here...

Kyungsoo didn't know when he stopped listening to the redhead, but he started to look more closely at his face, his ears standing out from his really red hair and big eyes.

-So, what are you thinking about Sehun?

-I think he is a good friend. I see how good he take care of you. You must be really important to him.

Kyungsoo shook his head. He thought it was nice that the other people also could see how good Sehun was to him.

-I owe him a lot.

Kyungsoo told this to himself but he was sure that Chanyeol also could hear that. Kyungsoo's phone started to vibrate. He knew who was calling and he made sure when he take his phone up. He wasn't sure, should he accept the calling or not. He turned his gaze to Chanyeol who was looking at him quizzically. Kyungsoo was irritated that he was calling at that late time, if not Sehun, he would be asleep on the couch right now of waiting for Jongin.

He pressed the green button, but he didn't say anything.

-Soo?

-Mhm.

Kyungsoo just muffled, looking back from Chanyeol, he did the same, pretending that he wasn't listening. But the silence in the room forced him to listen.

-Why aren't you home?

-I'm gonna sleep tonight at Sehun's, he is helping me with lessons.

After all, Kyungsoo felt a little bit lighter when he couldn't feel any anger in Jongin's voice, fortunately.

-I'm sorry Soo..My boss asked me to do another work for today.

-That doesn't matter Jongin, I already know it.

Kyungsoo sniffed and then asked silently Chanyeol for the blanket. He thanked him with a poor smile and then cover himself tightly with the warm blanket listening to Jongin's apology. He was asking Kyungsoo to come home like four times.

-Go to sleep, I'm sure you're very tired.

He was feeling sad now that he wasn't with Jongin, but he again chooses job instead of Kyungsoo so he was trying to get this thought of his mind just like he get off his phone. He rubbed his face and then he hugged blanket.

The silent in the living room was really long, but not uncomfortable. Well, not for the Kyungsoo because his mind was full of thoughts. Chanyeol just wanted to help.

-Wine?

He asked finally, ignoring Sehun's previous bans.

Kyungsoo came back to the living room with his mind when he heard Chanyeol's thick voice. He looked at him and then at the bottle of wine. He reminded himself of Sehun's word and he smiled after all.

-Sehun will be angry.

-I never saw him angry.

-That's good for you, you don't want to see that.

Chanyeol just rolled his eyes, pouring wine for Kyungsoo.

-Stop talking and drink.

Kyungsoo took a large sip, he licked his lips and repeated this action several times.

-Sehun thinks that my head is weak.

-Is she?

He took another sip and shrugged his arms.

-Quite possible.

They both laughed. Chanyeol thought that Kyungsoo's smile is really nice.

-Thanks.

Kyungsoo said when he drank the whole glass really fast.

-I recommend myself for the future.

Sehun came back a little time later. He didn't notice that the wine is a lot less than before. 

Chanyeol and Sehun decided to not continue their work. They had enough. The redhead went to take a shower and Kyungsoo was finally alone just with Sehun just to talk with him.

-So what's now, Soo?

That wasn't a nice feeling. He was coming to Sehun so often with his problems with Jongin that his head was hurting. This whole situation was rolling over and over but he just couldn't end this. He was loving Jongin too much.

-I'm just..feeling lonely.

-Were you talking with him about that?

-Yea, so many times..

-Kyungsoo, I'm telling you this like a hundred time. The best solution is to break up with him.

-But I love him..I can't do this.

Silent. Sehun never knows what to do with this because Kyungsoo's emotions for Jongin are more than this. 

-You see, I want the best for you. I know you love him, but Jongin should be more interested in you. Don't you feel like he didn't care anymore about you?

-I don't know.. He just spends so many hours at his work. I shouldn't argue with him about that, it's not his fault.

-Tell him what are you feeling Soo.

The smaller shook his head and sniffed.

-I will try to talk with him.

Sehun also shook his head and he rubbed his friends back.

-Maybe give him a break. So he could understand what he is doing is not good for you.

-You want me to leave him?

-I'm not talking about leaving him..You can still see him.

Sehun was thinking about his words while Chanyeol came back from the bathroom. Kyungsoo was loving so much Jongin, but lately, he wasn't feeling any love, just sadness and fear. 

-I will talk with him.

Kyungsoo shook his head to himself, he didn't want to think about Jongin's reaction. 

-At that time you will live with me. We will spend more time together.

-Thank you Sehun.

-You will meet better Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo smiled softly to the new friend.

They were sitting in three for a long time in the night. They went to the sleep just at 3 am. Kyungsoo was thankful for them that they weren't talking about Jonign anymore. He also met a new side of Chanyeol, he was very talkative. Redhead was talking a lot of his stories that he had when he was living in the America. At some of them, he was laughing so hard that he landed on Kyungso back and he was laughing with him.

Kyungsoo was laying on the couch with a little smile on his face but his stomach overturned in his belly when he thought about tomorrow talk with Jongin. Break it's a good solution. He repeats that in his mind until he falls asleep.


	2. Just like everyone

When Kyungsoo woke up, right away he felt that he is missing something, rather someone. His first thought after waking up was Jongin. He had remorse that he didn't come back home yesterday. For sure it wasn't Jongin's fault that he had to stay in his work late, despite this made Kyungsoo feel a little sorrow but some time later he felt exactly just like that. He wasn't mad at Jongin anymore. He needs to be with his boyfriend right now.

When Kyungsoo entered the kitchen he saw Chanyeol and Sehun drinking probably coffees, the smell was strong but he was surprised that these two were awake. Kyungsoo was moving his bare feet lazily on the tiles. He greeted them with quiet mumble, after all, he was really still sleepy, but he just wanted to be in the home, he wanted to see Jongin. He was curious if Jongin was missing him too. Kyungsoo decided to take a sip of Sehun's coffee without question then he did the same with Chanyeol's coffee, he smiled and Kyungsoo returned him with the same smile. Then he jumped on the worktop and sighted noisy.

-Sehun, I don't think that I can leave him..even for a while.

Sehun looked up at Kyungsoo, little surprised.

-I..I can't even stand one night without him. I can't do it.

-I think you're just saying this because your emotions had fallen down.

He answered simply, taking another sip of his coffee. He knows Kyungsoo very well.

The redhead was looking at them both with curiosity.

-Okay. - Sehun decided to continue. - So what if he hurts you?

Kyungsoo sighed again. He didn't accept the fact that Jongin could be like that again. He didn't drink like in two weeks, from two weeks in their home, there wasn't broken plates, wounds or bruises on Kyungsoo's body. Kyungsoo's hope for Jongin's change was really strong.

-He wouldn't do that.

Sehun still wasn't believing Kyungsoo. He didn't believe that someone with alcohol or head problems could change just like that. But he didn't want to make Kyungsoo disappointed at that time so he just smiled weakly.

-Talk to him about this, okay?

Kyungsoo shook his head and he went to the bathroom to wear his clothes giving up on breakfast.

-Thank you Sehun.

He hugged him and then he turned to Chanyeol whose mouth was full of bread.

-It was nice to meet you Chanyeol - Kyungsoo didn't know how to behave so he just took the taller hand and rubbed his hand with his fingers - Sadly in not so happy conditions.

After all, Kyungsoo was feeling a lot of better. He was returning home with a heart full of hopes.

He knocked on the doors a few times because yesterday he didn't take his keys with him. Kyungsoo had hope that Jongin wasn't sleeping. But he wasn't opening for a while, he was for sure sleeping. Soo smiled hearing the footsteps and his smile widened when he saw in front of him Jongin in pyjama with his hair all messy and eyes barely open.

-I'm sorry that I wake you up, but I didn't take my keys.

Jongin just nodded, letting cold Kyungsoo to the flat. Jongin rubbed his eyes and he helped Kyungsoo to take off his clothes. He was a little surprised when Kyungsoo immediately hugged him, really hard.

Kyungsoo wanted to apologise Jongin for that that he wasn't with him in the night, that he was mad at Jongin because of his job when he promised that he wouldn't do it anymore. He was just a little too sensitive.

Jongin's heart melted. He didn't see Kyungsoo for almost two days. His hands were squeezing Kyungsoo's arms and back. He also kissed him a few times in his head.

-I'm sorry Soo. - he kissed him this time in his chilly forehead and he continued - I really did everything to be as soon as possible in the house but I just can't control the decisions that my boss is making.

Kyungsoo didn't say anything, he was enjoying the warmth that was coming from Jongin's body, kisses and his closeness. They were snuggling for a long time moving to the living room and then to the bedroom landing on the soft bed. Jongin had a free day and he promised Kyungsoo to spend this whole day just with him. Kyungsoo immediately suggested staying in the bed for a long while, so that just what they do.

-Many people were fired at our company. I was really scared.

Kyungsoo was listening to Jongin who was telling him what happened at his work. His hands were under his shirt and his head on his chest.

-There is fewer workers and more work to do. I really can't stand it.

Kyungsoo lifted his head up. He saw that Jongin's eyes were closed so he decides to kiss his plump lips very passionately.

-I'm sure that they would never fire you - another kiss - you are too good.

Jongin smiled cutely and Kyungsoo just could die for that look.

-But I don't want you to overwork.

-Can't do anything bout that.

Kyungsoo didn't want to be selfish, but he wanted to spend every day with Jongin like that instead of Jongin going to the job.

It was the most lazily day in Kyungsoo's live. He was sleeping like three times in one day. He didn't get out from the bed with Jongin earlier than at 5 pm. He was more tired than rested but he was with Jongin so that was okay.

Their stomachs were empty. Kyungsoo decided to make a Spaghetti that Jongin loves during that Jongin went to take a shower.

Kyungsoo was dreaming that every day could be like that. He was feeling loving when Jongin was kissing him all the time, he was soaking in Jongin's scent when he was wearing his blouse that was too big for Kyungsoo. But still, far far in his head, he was hearing Sehun's words. He decided to not touch this topic, not right now.

Jongin was still taking a shower when his phone rang. Kyungsoo knew Jongin so well that sometimes he was picking up his calls. Maybe it was an important call so Kyungsoo decided to pick it up.

-Hello?

-Jongin?

-Jongin is taking now a shower. Should I tell him something?

The woman on the other side was thinking about something mumbling long "Hmm".

-Could you tell him that we need him in the company?

Kyungsoo furrowed his brows in dissatisfaction.

-Today? But he has a free day.

-It's true...but it's really special situation. Could you tell him that...

-Kyungsoo.

-Ah, yeah, Kyungsoo.

At that moment Jongin went out from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips. Kyungsoo didn't want Jongin to came back to his work, not when he has a free day, not when Kyungsoo was making a dinner for them and when he was feeling good after a long time.

-Wait a minute, I'm gonna hand you Jongin.

He said sadly, giving Jongin his phone.

-Hello?

Jongin went to the bedroom with his phone stuck to his ear so Kyungsoo couldn't hear their conversation. He sighed returning to the cooker. He was mixing the meat when he heard Jongin's laugh. Well, so Kyungsoo was the only one who doesn't want Jongin to go. When the conversation subsided Kyungsoo went to the bedroom founding Jongin with wet hair and shirt on.

-Are you going somewhere?

-They need me in the company. I really have to go.

Kyungsoo didn't say anything. He was looking at his boyfriend who was trying to wear a tie.

-I think I will grow in my boss eyes. Don't you think so?

He looked fast at Kyungsoo who just nodded and returned to the kitchen. He turned off burner because he lost his appetite even when he wasn't eating the whole day.

-You don't have to wait for me, I don't think I will come back early.

He said wearing his marine.

-Jongin.

He looked right away at his boyfriend. Kyungsoo was hurt again. It was so easy for Jongin to replace Kyungsoo with his work. Is it the money or the boss more important for him? Or maybe it's something different? Kyungsoo couldn't understand this.

-Have fun at work.

-You know it will not be.

Jongin smiled cutely at his boyfriend words, couldn't feel the irony in his voice and the sadness on his face.

-Actually, I don't know that.

Jongin didn't say anything more. He took his jacket, keys to the car and leave so fast just like it was depending on his life.

And that's how it is. Kyungsoo was alone to the end of the day but he was trying so hard not to make a big deal of that.

*

Kyungsoo jumped out of bed really fast when he heard that someone or something was banging loud on the door. Everywhere was dark so it's still was night and Jongin was still not in the home. Kyungsoo jumped again when the sound was a little bit noisier now. On his tippy toes, he came to the hall. He looked through peephole and stone dropped from his heart when he saw Jongin. It dropped on his stomach because when he saw in which condition Jongin was, he started to be scared again.

Jongin's hair was messy, his jacket was creased, his tie was loose and his shirt was open. Drunk Jongin was saying something under his nose and Kyungsoo had to pull him to the flat using his strength. He closed the door and when he saw how Jongin was wobbling he held him and took to the bedroom where Jongin threw himself onto the bed.

-Jongin, what the fuck?

Kyungsoo was so confused. Did normal people casually come back from work like that? Jongin doesn't answer Kyungsoo and he knew that he will not get the answer today. He could just hear Jongin snoring. His heart was still pumping like crazy in his chest and he didn't know why. Kyungsoo opened the window because all he could feel was the stench of alcohol.

Kyungsoo rubbed his sweaty face and then he took of Jongin's shoes, leaving them under his bed. 

Kyungsoo was sitting on the sofa in the living room. He was just sitting, maybe crying, he didn't care and he was thinking about this weird situation. He was trying to understand this but he ends up sleeping in an uncomfortable position. In the very early morning, he was awakened by sounds of someone throwing up. It wasn't new for Kyungsoo. He stands up feeling tired, sleepy and sad. He prepared for Jongin glass of water and two pills for hangover then he sat on the chair waiting for Jongin to come out from the bathroom.

He entered the kitchen, didn't say a word. He took the pills, rubbing his temples. Kyungsoo was looking at him with his brows furrowed, he was looking like seven woes.

-Can you tell me what happened?

Kyungsoo was getting impatient because Jongin was procrastinated with the answer. 

-Yesterday when they were calling from my company..they wanted me to come but not for the work..- Jongin scratched his neck - that was a surprise, they made a party for the employees.

Yeah, he was working really hard.

-Did you have to drink that much?

-I didn't drink much...It just came like this.

Kyungsoo didn't say anything more. He went to the bedroom despite that he heard Jongin's sore voice that was calling him. Kyungsoo needed to go somewhere, he decided that he will go to the school. Jongin did it to himself, Kyungsoo is not gonna be babying him. 

He took some notebooks to his bag.

-Where are you going?

-School.

Kyungsoo answered coldly, pulling out of the closet sloppy clothes. He just wanted to leave, especially when he was feeling Jongin's gaze on his back.

-Can't you stay with me?

Kyungsoo remembered how fast Jongin went yesterday to his work and he started even faster wearing his blouse.

-No.

-Are you mad?

-No, I'm not mad Jongin!

Kyungsoo turned away to see Jongin. Well, actually he was mad as hell.

-I just...I just have enough of you treating me like this, okay? I have enough of your behaviour, I have enough that everything is more important than me.

Kyungsoo was strong just for a while because he felt like tears were coming to his eyes.

-If one of your friends would call you, you will just go to them, even at the end of the world, you would leave me even if I would be dying.

It sounded really funnily but it was true, Kyungsoo was feeling like that.

-You're so selfish Jongin.

Jongin didn't say any word. Tears stream down on Kyungsoo cheeks but he wiped them fast cause he doesn't want to fall apart.

-I'm not a fucking toy. I have feelings too.

Kyungsoo took his bag, ready to go but Jongin came closer to him.

-Kyungsoo, it's not like that.

-I don't want to listen to you. I don't believe you. You promised me that you won't drink anymore.

-But Soo, everyone was drinking.

-You are not everyone.

Kyungsoo became quieter when he was that near Jongin.

-But wait...You are. You are just like everyone Jongin.

Silence again. Kyungsoo wanted to say so many things. At the end of his tongue, there was even a word hate, but Kyungsoo wasn't brave enough to say that, he didn't know if his mind really means that. He let his tears fall down this time. When Jongin wanted to wipe them away, he moved away again.

-I think that...

Kyungsoo was trying hard to make up his mind and words.

-I think we need a break since the job is more important to you.

-Kyungsoo what are you talking about. What break. Don't act stupid.

This time Kyungsoo was silent. He felt a little lighter when he said that, maybe that was what he needed. He needs a break from Jongin, break from those fights, break from this tiring relationship. 

Kyungsoo started to nodding his head nervously, he was biting his lips, feeling salty tears.

-Yes, Jongin. You should decide what is more important to you.

Jongin laughed. 

-So I am selfish?

Kyungsoo just wanted to leave now.

-I will take my things later - Kyungsoo looked around the room - But you know what, I will do it now.

-Kyungsoo stop this.

Jongin raised his voice but Kyungsoo just took a big bag and he started to push to her his clothes and most important things.

-I said stop.

Jongin grabbed the bag. Kyungsoo looked up at Jongin and he kept the seriousness.

-Let it go.

-Talk to me first.

Kyungsoo didn't want to talk. He knew that Jongin will tell him things that will go into oblivion. Things are repeated, but Kyungsoo never told him that he will leave him.

It's not that he will leave him, he just wants a break. He loves Jongin but this love really hurts him. He wanted for Jongin to understand what he is doing. He wanted for Jongin to miss Kyungsoo the way he always misses him.

-No. I don't want to talk to you.

After all, Jongin pulled the bag so hard that the bag landed on the floor with other thigs Kyungsoo already packed.

-Kyungsoo don't leave me. You won't do this to me.

Jongin was watching how Kyungsoo put the things back into the bag. He took one shirt from Kyungsoo's hands but it didn't stop him.

At that moment Kyungsoo was kneeling on the floor with eyes full of tears.

-You aren't even at home all the time, so what's the difference for you?

Kyungsoo finally spoke, taking the bag away from Jongin.

-I will be happy knowing that I have you. 

-I'm not leaving you forever. Maybe. - He added silently - Not if you would change. Stop being such an egoist and give me a break. I'm sick of this. I. Want. A. Break. From. You.

Kyungsoo jerked hard the bag. He guessed that his word finally spoke to Jongin because he stepped away.

The bedroom was all in silent now. Kyungsoo was thinking that maybe he went too far, but apparently, he said what he wanted to say. He ended packing his bag then he looked up at Jongin who was standing still in his place. Kyungsoo moved to the hallway and Jongin right behind him

-Kyungsoo.

He said sounded almost like he was crying. Kyungsoo bites his lips hard and turned to Jongin.

-Just give me some time.

-I can't live without you Kyungsoo. I don't want to.

-Think about my words.

Kyungsoo said softly watching Jongin for the last time and he left despite Jongin's objections.


	3. Old love

Kyungsoo sat on a bench in the nearest park, with a big bag between his legs and rubbed his face. He should feel free right now, didn't he? Free from worries, free from this relationship. He wanted that. But he was thinking hard about Jongin's last words. It hurts him.

For sure he can handle it.

He thought, nodding his head. He left his bag in his locker and he decided to go to the history lesson just to make his mind busy. But it really didn't help him. He was thinking that he will get lost in the amount of homework and exams and everything will be better. But he just couldn't focus and his mind was going back all the time to Jongin.

His lessons end up at 4 pm, then he went to the restaurant by himself. It wasn't a problem for him, he needed really to be alone. Kyungsoo found a modest table in the corner of the restaurant and then he ordered soup without looking at the menu. After the dinner, he planned to go to his friend and beg him for accommodation for some time.

-Kyungsoo?

Kyungsoo looked up because he thought that he heard his name. And he wasn't wrong.

-Kyungsoo! I haven't seen you like in thousand years!

He sought the person who has a familiar voice for Kyungsoo and he stands up from the chair to hug his friend.

-What are you doing here? I saw you really long time ago.

Kyungsoo rubbed Junmyeon's back who sat next to him.

-I could ask you the same question - Kyungsoo said with a sincere smile - So, tell me everything!

Kyungsoo was looking very closely at his friend. He didn't see him for some months. Probably the last time he saw him was at Jongin's birthday party. He changed a lot. He changed his hair colour and he was looking really more mature, but it still was the same Junmyeon who was telling jokes about his new job laughing almost all the time.

-I never thought that you will end up working in the school. 

-Now you see what need of money does to people. But enough of me, how are you?

Should Kyungsoo lie and tell that everything is good? That he didn't really leave his boyfriend that he was living with for 2 years and that he was now homeless?

-Nothing interesting, I just came back from school. Such a pity that you are not learning in my school, I will be there more often.

His visit in the restaurant was much longer than he suspected just because Junmyeon ordered dinner, then Kyungsoo ordered coffee and they were sitting together for a really long time. Thanks to Junmyeon, Kyungsoo cold forget about this day just for a while. He was thankful that his friend didn't ask even once about Jongin.

They paid the bill together and Kyungsoo almost forgets about his big ass bag. There was no possibility that he would not see it.

-Woah, what are you having here? Don't tell me that your books for school.

Kyungsoo let Junmyeon go first when they were leaving the restaurant and he decided to escort him to his home since it was the same path to Sehun's house.

-Actually, I have here my stuff - Kyungsoo wanted so bad to drop conversation about that - I'm moving to my friend now because...well, just because.

He forced a smile, avoiding Junmyeon's gaze.

-Did something happen? Why didn't you say anything?

-Because it's nothing important.

-For sure?

Junmyeon was surveyed him hard who again forced a smile and he nodded.

-Yeah, for sure. I will tell you about that on maybe next meeting.

He wasn't convinced, but he felt how bad Kyungsoo wanted to end this conversation so he let it go.

-I hope we will see each other more often.

*

-Oh. Hello. Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo didn't really expect to see Chanyeol on his friend's door. The redhead, tall and always smiley boy completely fell out from Kyungsoo's mind.

-Hello, Kyungsoo.

He greeted him with a big smile, Kyungsoo just couldn't return this. He entered the room feeling the heavy stench of cigarettes and he winced.

-This looks heavy, let me hold it for you.

Chanyeol took the bag that Kyungsoo was holding almost the whole day. He felt already lighter so he took off his clothes.

-Is Sehun home?

-He went to buy something to eat, I'm sure he will come back soon.

Kyungsoo looked around the living room which was a big mess. On the table was lit cigarette, Kyungsoo really couldn't stand this stink. He coughed feeling heavy in his chest.

-Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Sehun allows me to smoke in his flat.

-I didn't know that you are smoking.

Kyungsoo opened the window and stay near him.

-I didn't have a chance to tell you.

When Chanyeol saw Kyungsoo's reaction he stubbed out his cigarette and then he started fanning so the smell could go away.

-It's really unhealthy.

Kyungsoo was looking at Chanyeol really attentively.

-It's just because of stress.

He couldn't help Chanyeol with that because the only thing he was doing when he was stressing was crying so yeah.

It was silence until Chanyeol asked again the bag.

-Why is your bag so big?

Kyungsoo sat next to Chanyeol and he sighted really heavy.

-Um...my stuff. I listened to Sehun, I was talking with my boyfriend and it ended like that.

Kyungsoo looked at Chanyeol, forcing a smile when he saw that he was also looking at him.

-I just hope that Sehun will let me live with him.

Chanyeol was looking very confused, Kyungsoo knew that look on his face.

-And how are you feeling about that?

-I don't know...I tell him that I want a break from him.

Chanyeol furrowed his nose and shooked his head. Kyungsoo laughed slightly because Chanyeol was looking quite cute.

-Did I go too far?

-Maybe just a little? I don't know the situation very well but I would die if someone like you would tell me those words.

Kyungsoo looked down, smiling shyly. He shrugged his arms playing with the hand of the bag.

-I wanted this, I think is a good decision.

He really was thinking like that. That break will make up their relationship or will show that Jongin just doesn't care anymore.

-I hope you will feel better here, Soo.

Kyungsoo nodded.

-I feel here like it's my second home.

Sehun came back after a while.

-Soo! So good that I bought more food.

He smiled seeing his friend who was also smiley. Kyungsoo was jealous that he was always happy and positive. He was sure that he will be better just of being with him.

Sehun told Kyungsoo to sit down when he wanted to help him with food.

-I was eating not that long ago Sehun!

He screamed through the whole living room so just Sehun could hear it in the kitchen.

-Also, you wouldn't believe who I met!

-Who do you meet?

He screamed in respond from the kitchen. Kyungsoo looked at Chanyeol who was drinking his beer and laughing under his nose.

-Junmyeon!

Kyungsoo didn't get the answer from Sehun, but after a while, he ran to the living room and his eyes were really big.

-What are you talking about? I thought he was in China.

-So do I, but he is not. Plus, he is working at the school.

-Who is this Junmyeon?

Chanyeol interjected when he saw how excited Sehun was taking everything that Kyungsoo was saying about that guy. Like really excited.

-Junmyeon was- 

Kyungsoo's lips were covered by Sehun's hand.

-It's no one important.

-Sehun! I want to know.

Chanyeol furrowed his brows and Kyungsoo took Sehun's hand away. He rolled his eyes and sat on the same armchair as Kyungsoo.

-It's Sehun's old love.

-What?

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol started to laughing while Sehun looked away irritated and maybe a little shy. It was the first time when Chanyeol saw him like that.

-Yeah! Sehun was so in love with a man six years older than him who was thinking about Sehun only as a kid.

Kyungsoo told everything to Chanyeol who was listening and laughing like crazy.

-He was just handsome and really funny and he was a gentleman. You can't find people like this in these times.

Sehun rolled his eyes again and he came back to the kitchen making for everyone hot soups. He came back to the living room and hit Kyungsoo's leg when he still was making fun of him.

-But you know what? He got more handsome. 

Chanyeol and Sehun both looked at Kyungsoo right now with their brows furrowed. Kyungsoo sipped his soup and looked at Chanyeol.

-What.

-You like older guys?

Kyungsoo wanted to laugh at Chanyeol's question but he licked his lips when he stopped drinking his soup and then he shrugged his shoulders.

-Maybe. But he is not my type.

He laughed and end his soup which made him feel very warm in his stomach. The atmosphere in the living room was really good. The three of them were talking and laughing all the time making Kyungsoo forget about this tragic day. Right now he didn't need anything more to make him feel good.

It was late, Sehun and Chanyeol were cleaning living room when Kyungsoo was taking a hot shower. This time he wears his shirt, briefs and socks.

-I think you should start taking money from us because we are again sleeping in your home.

-You will pay me by cleaning.

They both laughed washing dishes.

-What about Kyungsoo?

The redhead asked little quieter.

-He can stay how long he was. I want him to be happy.

-He seems happy, didn't he?

Sehun just nodded his head, leaning on a table.

-If you would know Kyungsoo better you will be happy as much as I am right now because Kyungsoo is away from Jongin.

-What was he doing?

Sehun made sure that he hears running water in the bathroom, he didn't want Kyungsoo to hear about Jongin because that will made him think about him.

-Jongin had changed a lot. He started to have some alcohol problems. And when he drink too much sometimes Kyungsoo can get his ass beaten.

Chanyeol felt like his stomach was crushing. He couldn't image that someone could hurt Kyungsoo.

-Sometimes it was really serious.

-He deserves someone better.

Sehun told Chanyeol to shut up because he heard footsteps coming from the bathroom. 

-When will you learn to wear slacks? You will chill your butt.

Sehun said just to break the silence in the kitchen.

-I never did that so it's impossible.

Kyungsoo shrugged his shoulders and then he switched on the kettle, pulling out from cupboard big cup.

It's second time for Chanyeol when he sees Kyungsoo's thighs, but only now he saw scar on his thigh. He didn't wanted to think that Jongin could make this.

-I don't know about you, but I'm going to sleep. Don't eat everything from fridge.

Sehun kissed the top of Kyungsoo's head who was mixing his tea. Then he looked at Chanyeol. Both laughed, but Sehun stood on his tiptoes and also kissed Chanyeol's head who was really happy of that. Kyungsoo was happy to. He was happy that Chanyeol was with them now.

-Bye, bye Sehun, we will take care of you kitchen.

Kyungsoo was looking at Sehun disappearing, then he looked fast at Chanyeol and then at his tea, abashed.

The silent was awkward. Kyungsoo was making his tea really long. He was feeling very good with Chanyeol and Sehun around, but alone he was feeling a little pressure.

-I don't know if I can ask..

Chanyeol took a lot of air to his lungs.

-What's that scar?

-Ah, that.

Kyungsoo was trying to act surprised by this question. He turned around and have to look at his thigh just to a reminder that it was defaced. Now he was regretting that he didn't wear any shorts.

-It's nothing.

-You sure? It looks serious.

Kyungsoo turned around to Chanyeol didn't want him to look at this anymore.

-I forgot from what I have her.

That was a big lie. Kyungsoo took his cup with warm tea and went to the living room without any word.

Chanyeol was feeling guilty for asking. He sighed, looking around then he decided to go to his bedroom.

 


	4. Night talks

Every morning Kyungsoo was waking up to the feeling that he was missing something, but he was always ignoring it.

He didn't think about Jongin when he was spending his morning with Sehun, sometimes with Sehun and Chanyeol.

He didn't think about Jongin when he was going to school and he was sitting there for like 8 hours and taking notes very accurate.

He didn't think about Jongin when he was meeting his friends, which he has neglect because of his relationship.

Kyungsoo was trying so hard not to think about Jongin for like two weeks. In the beginning, he was really selfish because he thought that he will get every day like thousands of messages from Jongin where he would beg Kyungsoo to come back but it wasn't like this. And Kyungsoo was thankful because everything was easier like that. Maybe just a little.

Because Kyungsoo was thinking about Jongin when he waked up in the middle of the night and he had no one next to him.

He was thinking about Jongin when he left school and his legs take him automatically to his and Jongin's home.

He was thinking about Jongin when he just wore his jumper and he could feel his boyfriend's intense smell.

He was thinking about Jongin when he was reading their old messages and he just wanted to click the green phone and get to know how he is.

And there he is catching himself again thinking about Jongin, sitting at 2 am on the couch with Sehun's feet on his thighs. In the background, there was a movie playing but he really wasn't watching it from a long time. It was really hard for him to pretend that he didn't care about Jongin, the person who he was with every day for 2 years.

Kyungsoo was thinking for how long this break will last. It was just - or maybe already - three weeks. He was scared that before he watches there will be another and another weeks and Jongin will totally forget about him. What is he doing right now? Maybe he is in work? Maybe he is with someone right now? Maybe he already forgot about his boyfriend? Kyungsoo was trying hard no to cry just to not wake up Sehun from his ugly whimpers. But when he lock himself in the bedroom he immediately burst into tears feeling like his body was shaking from too many emotions. He wiped his wet cheeks with his sleeves and he took his phone. His hands were shaking when he was scrolling down in his contacts. He finally found the contact named " **My Jongin** ". He was looking at this with a big hope that he maybe will get some sign from god, anything like this. His mind was blank, breath slow down when he pushed the green phone. As fast as he pressed the green button he realised what he just did and he hung up, throwing his phone into the mattress.

-I can't do it, I can't.

He whispered to himself taking his phone and leaving fast his contacts list. He wiped his wet face from tears and snots and he crawled under the sheets. He didn't want anyone to see him like this. Someone who doesn't know him may think he is sick or something, he was feeling like that in this moment. His body was trembling in violent pace, he never felt like this because of someone. His emotions had never this much of effect on his behaviour. He needed to calm down so - not caring about that it's the middle of the night - he called to Chanyeol.

First signal. Second signal. Third signal. Kyungsoo wanted to hang up but he heard his friend's sleepy voice.

-Kyungsoo? Did something happen?

He didn't expect Chanyeol to really pick up. The first thing that he learned about Chanyeol was that his sleep is really hard and tough. Kyungsoo didn't know what to say. He sniffed, swallowing his snots.

-I'm sorry that I waked you up...I just couldn't sleep.

Chanyeol rose up, looking around his room, he looked at the clock and rubbed his tired face.

-Are you crying?

Damn it.

-No...I just have runny nose.

-Don't think that I'm gonna believe you in that - Chanyeol yawned really long and Kyungsoo felt bad that he woke up his new friend - Tell me what happened.

-It's really nothing.

Kyungsoo wanted to say something but he resigned when he choked on his saliva. Chanyeol started to communicate more so he rubbed his eyes and he gets out of bed, making the silence ever longer, which wasn't really uncomfortable. He guessed why Kyungsoo was like that and why he was crying but he decided that he will end this topic, feeling that Kyungsoo won't tell anything anyway.

-You don't have to apologise, I'm happy that you called me.

He was quiet still so Chanyeol continued.

-If you want we can go somewhere tomorrow? I have school but I can absquatulate.

Kyungsoo didn't know if it's a good idea. In this moment he wanted to stay under the sheets for next thousand years and he didn't want to see anyone.

-I don't want you to leave your school. It's okay. We will meet other time.

He panicked. He didn't see Chanyeol almost for a week. He didn't think that they are so close already that he could tell him that he miss him and it would be nice if he could just hug him. So Kyungsoo kept it for his mind.

-Um, okay. 

Kyungsoo heard that Chanyeol was doing something on the other side, but he didn't want to hang up, he could just listen to his breath because he found out that he stopped crying and shaking. 

-Thanks for picking up.

He squeezed his phone nervously when the only thing that he was hearing was rustle and no answer.

-Chanyeol? - again long silence - If you are busy I can hang up.

Kyungsoo looked at his phone just to make sure that he didn't end the call by accident. In this moment he heard a loud crash.

-Chanyeol, is everything alright?

He panicked feeling how hot his body was feeling now. After the suspicious noises, the call was interrupted. Kyungsoo right away took off all the sheets he was covered with and he ran to the living room, poking Sehun's arms just to wake him up.

-Sehun! Sehun wake up!

His friends opened slowly his eyes, looking confused as fuck.

Kyungsoo just woke up two persons in one night.

-What is happening?

Sehun rose up when he looked closely and Kyungsoo's panicked face.

-Something happened to Chanyeol!

-What? 

-I don't know, I was talking on the phone with him when he suddenly stopped answering me then I heard weird noises and he hung up.

Kyungsoo was speaking really fast, he was very nervous, in his head he had only the worst thoughts that could happen to him like someone could break into his house or something.

-Kyungsoo - Sehun's tone was a little softer now - Are you sure that it wasn't just a nightmare?

-No! I wasn't sleeping! Stop kidding right now! We need to go to see if he is okay.

He grabbed his friend by his hand and started to pulling him out from his blanket in a harshly way. Sehun looked at Kyungsoo last time, he saw his glued eyelashes and maybe he really believed him now. He wore a blouse and with his frightened friend they went to Sehun's car. Kyungsoo was trying to call Chanyeol all the time but nothing of that.

-Stop. We can't go like that. What if there is someone?

Kyungsoo gulped looking around the dark street.

-We can do it in two, come on.

Sehun was thinking all the time that Kyungsoo was just overreacting and maybe he heard something wrong. But he was getting nervous when Chanyeol wasn't opening the door for a longer time.

-What the...Sehun why are you banging on my door at 3 in the morning?

Chanyeol relaxed his furrowed forehead when he saw Kyungsoo with red eyes by Sehun's side. 

-Well, I'm sorry but Kyungs-

-Chanyeol! What happened! I was calling to you like twenty times!

His voice was really squeaky right now, he didn't understand this whole situation. Chanyeol was looking like nothing just happened to him so why Kyungsoo almost got infarct by this? He let the two into his house then he showed Kyungsoo his crashed phone and sighed heavily.

-Just a little accident with phone and bathroom.

-I was so scared that something happened.

Kyungsoo was sounding much quieter now. He looked down feeling like a big idiot.

-That's cute.

Chanyeol laughed just to make Kyungsoo feel a little lighter.

-You were scared that much?

-He told me to drive to you at 3 am in the middle of the night.

Sehun added. They both were standing at Kyungsoo who wanted just to disappeared.

-Kyungsoo. Is everything okay?

Chanyeol asked, reaching out his hand to Kyungsoo who ignored this because he didn't know what should he do with his hand.

-I just panicked and that's all. Maybe I am too little sensitive. Sorry for waking you up and sorry for coming to your house.

-Where is an apology for me? 

Sehun added, loosening the atmosphere by his soft tone, he didn't seem angry at Kyungsoo, neither Chanyeol.

-So...pity of your phone and my fuel. We are coming back Soo, it's not a good time for a visit.

-Hey!

Chanyeol caught Kyungsoo's elbow, catching him before he came out.

-Would you tell me what happened now?

He looked at his hand, then at his face which he looked only once today. Without thinking, Kyungsoo hugged Chanyeol really tight. The redhead was a little surprised this sudden gesture but he took him closer and squeezed his shoulders, hearing Kyungoo sniffs.

*

Kyungsoo was thankful for his friends. Without them he would end up on the couch, wrapped in his blanket, watching marathons movies. Actually, he was doing this already. But he was feeling a lot of better with additional support. He also listened to Chanyeol and their night talks were now almost every night. Kyungsoo was feeling that bond between him and Chanyeol was keep getting stronger and better and he was feeling more comfortable around him. On the phone, especially in the late hour, Kyungsoo was more confident and more opened, he was telling Chanyeol about everything that he was worried about and about all his feelings.

It was 01:42 in the night and Kyungsoo almost fall asleep on the couch watching a boring show about detectives but Chanyeol's call make him awoken for a while.

It was something new because Kyungsoo was always the one who was calling first. Sometimes he was feeling that he is too insistent by all those calls, but Chanyeol was always denying and he was making sure that he will always listen to what Kyungsoo want to say to him.

So Kyungsoo half sleeping pressed green earphone and laid down on the phone so he didn't have to hold it.

Because of Kyungsoo's tiredness, his answers were limited to short words or mumbles. Mostly he was just nodding his head but he forgot that Chanyeol couldn't see this so he was adding a long "Mhhmm". It could sound like Kyungsoo didn't want to talk with the redhead. He thought about that and he explained that he is just extremely tired. Possibly he said that it would be a lot of better right now if Chanyeol could be just next to him.

Sometimes there was also a silence between them, but not awkward. They both could just think a little and be happy that they are each other's support.

-Kyungsoo?

Chanyeol finally asked. He heard a quiet murmur in the other side so he decided that he can continue to talk.

-I thought that by moving on here it would be really hard for me... You know, without family, without people I know, all alone. I was never on my own, so I didn't think that I will make it. Of course, half of my success were my parents' money, but I think that I also make a lot. This is really a big city and I make it without getting lost that much time, it's not that easy, right? Also, I want to this new school in the middle of the...

Kyungsoo didn't know when he fall asleep, but before he fall asleep he was chanting in his head two sentences which Chanyeol really told, _I wouldn't fall asleep without conversation with You_ and _If you want you can fall asleep, I will be here with you_ and Kyungsoo didn't remember the last time he was sleeping so good.

_*_

-Are you sure that there will be no others but just us five?

Kyungsoo asked buttoning his shirt and his tie when he entered his friend's bedroom. Soo and Sehun decided to meet today with their closest friends at Baekhyun's because the semester was ending and it was one of many reasons to drink alcohol. Kyungsoo didn't like big parties, but he was really excited because he is gonna meet up with his friends. But it still was Baekhyun and when he said that he will invite only a few people Kyungsoo could suspect that for Baekhyun few could also mean like tens.

Sehun just furrowed his brows seeing how hard Kyungsoo's tie was tied on his neck. He loose him down and unbuttoned his two buttons.

-What would you do without me.

Kyungsoo looked up at his friend and he smiled really hard, it was his biggest smile since he doesn't remember when. But it was true, he didn't know what he would do without Sehun. He was really thankful for every little thing and it really hit him hard right now.

-Is Chanyeol invited too?

The smaller asked, sitting on the couch and looking at Sehun but he was somewhere else with his mind.

-Yea. Why are you asking?

-I just wanted to know. He will meet some new faces, that's good for him, right?

*

Thank god. Kyungsoo sighed when he entered his friend's flat and he didn't found tens of people and loud music.

-Latecomers!

He screamed so loud that for sure every his neighbours heard it. Kyungsoo furrowed his forehead, almost forgetting how his friend was always loud comparing to him or Sehun, but still, he smiled and hugged him. In the living room, he found Jongdae and Minseok who he also hugged really hard.

These four really made him happy. Kyungsoo was thankful that they weren't mad at him that their contact was a little weak because of Jongin's possessiveness. He was blind by his love for Jongin so now he promised himself that if he would come back to Jongin he will change that. 

There was a lot of alcohol, snacks, but still, something was missing, rather someone.

Sehun was writing text messages with Chanyeol giving him tips which buses he should drive to Baekhyun's street but then they were arguing on the phone because Chanyeol got out from bus two stops too far.

-It would be easier if I would just go for him.

That's what Sehun did. Kyungsoo was a little nervous. He didn't see Chanyeol for almost a week but it felt like it was almost a year. Additionally, in this week he told his friend on the phone so many things, sad and shameful that it would be awkward to look at his face right now. Jongdae must have found that because he asked if Kyungsoo is okay. He didn't know how to answer this question. He didn't know why his hands were sweating at the thought of seeing Chanyeol. It's gonna be okay, Chanyeol didn't stop liking him when Kyungsoo started to open more for him, right?

His heart swelled when he saw Chanyeol in the doors with Sehun. They both were laughing and joking of Chanyeol getting lost. The redhead didn't stop laughing hard until he saw Kyungsoo, sitting in the corner of the couch, with his knees on his chest and a can of a beer in his small hand. They both shared a cute smile, Kyungsoo wanted to say by this smile that _he missed Chanyeol and that he was looking really good and that he was still thinking about his yesterday's words_ , but he wasn't sure if Chanyeol interpreted his smile like that.

This time Kyungsoo was lucky because it wasn't him who was new in the group of people. But Chanyeol did really good. He was talking, smiling, laughing a lot and it was all natural for him. Kyungsoo was sure that Jongdae, Baekhyun and Minseok will like him that much as he and Sehun did. It was hard to not like him. 

-What about you Soo?

Minseok asked, but this time Kyungsoo wasn't listening.  He was somewhere else with his mind.

-What about me?

He blinked few times. Everyone started laughing and Kyungsoo just didn't understand but he felt Jongdae's hand on his back who took him closer. Kyungsoo didn't mind that.

-I was asking how are you. You know, after all that situation with Jongin.

Kyungsoo looked down on his knees. How was he? He wasn't asking himself that question from a long time. Honestly? He was feeling hopeless and helpless. He didn't know how is Jongin and who is gonna do the first step, he didn't know anything. He was feeling like Jongin disappeared like he would be far away from Kyungsoo. He looked up feeling Jongdae's hand patting his back comfortingly.

The silence was now all in the living room but no one changed the topic because everyone was caring about Kyungsoo and they wanted to know how he is.

Kyungsoo shrugged his arms feeling five pairs of eyes looking at him so he decided to drink his beer really slowly.

-I don't know - another sip of beer - I don't know what is between us, I would like to know, but I don't have enough confidence to ask. I don't think the time is right already...but I don't want it to be too late.

Kyungsoo laughed only by himself because it was so stupid and hopeless situation.

-Let's say it's okay.

No one believed him, but he closed the topic taking another beer.

*

He was trying so hard no to think about Jongin and he was stopping thinking with all new glass of alcohol and new can of beer. It helped him just for a while because his fun ended when someone took him up and started to carry on his hands going up the stairs. Kyungsoo's eyelids were really heavy but he took all of his strength just to open his eyes and to see who was holding him. There it is, he saw a big storm of red hair.

-Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo murmured probably saying his name badly because Chanyeol shook his head and laughed. 

-Yes, Soo?

Kyungoo didn't ask because he felt like his head was about to drop on the floor so he put it on Chanyeol's shoulder and he closed his eyes.

-I think I'm gonna throw up.

-You shouldn't drink that much.

Chanyeol panicked and he put Kyungsoo on the bed. He opened the window and then he leant onto Kyungsoo. Chanyeol also drank a lot but everyone was in better condition than Kyungsoo.

-Are you feeling better now?

Kyungsoo sighed. Chanyeol decided to stay with him for a little time, he knew that after some minutes Kyungsoo will sleep tight like a baby. But no.

-Why my life is so fucking hopeless?

Kyungsoo asked, looking at the ceiling with a blank stare. Chanyeol didn't answer.

-Why I can't be just happy? Why my boyfriend is so fucked up?

-Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol could feel that Kyungsoo is uptight and his voice is louder.

-I hate him. I really hate him.

-Kyungsoo, calm down.

The redhead didn't know if everything that Kyungsoo is saying now it's because of alcohol but he put his hand on his shoulder and he squeezed it.

-Chanyeol give me my phone, please. I want to tell him that. I need to tell him that I hate him.

-Don't do anything stupid, you're drunk.

-I can tell him that even when I'm not, give me the phone.

Kyungsoo said that again, his voice was now thin, he was looking in his pockets but he couldn't find his phone. For Chanyeol's luck his phone was downstairs. Kyungsoo finally gave up, breathing loud making his bad emotions disappeared. Chanyeol saw that his eyes were closing now so he started again to squeeze his shoulders, feeling under his fingers that Kyungsoo was now more relaxed.

-I hate him.

Kyungsoo added before he closed his eyes fully. Chanyeol made sure that the smaller is really sleeping and then he leave, looking at him for the last time in the door. When he came back to the boys he lost his appetite for alcohol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for 300 hits, this really made me happy!! because I'm a shitty writer but thankkkk you for enjoying it
> 
> pss be patient for some kaisoo


	5. Dream or nightmare

It doesn't matter if it was Sehun's house or Baekhyun's, Kyungsoo was still having trouble with sleeping. This time he had also a big problem with a headache and dizziness. He rose but his heavy head made him fall again into a soft pillow. He sighed heavily trying to get out of the bed again. He was all sweaty and when he rubbed his face he could also feel that his eyelashes were glued... was he crying yesterday? He really didn't remember anything. It's not possible that he drunk that much.

Even when everything was dizzy, Kyungsoo made it and he stood on his weak legs, walking on tiptoes downstairs.

In the living room, he saw a few people, but it was really dark so he couldn't see who is who so he went to the kitchen without waking them up. He opened the window because he was feeling like he was still sweating. Maybe he will feel better if fresh air will reach his nostrils. He sat at countertop with a glass of cold tap water drinking it very slowly. He was sitting like that maybe for 15, 20 minutes but the somnolence wasn't coming and he already knew that he wouldn't fall asleep for a long time even if it is a middle of the night.

Suddenly he heard footsteps and he looked up. He almost fell down from the countertop when he saw tall, dark form in the door.

-Oh my god. You scared the shit out of me.

He whispered anyway, holding his chest where his heart was pounding hard. For a moment he forgot that he is not in his own house. Maybe he shouldn't be walking around the house in the night even if it his friend's house.

-Sorry, I didn't want to.

Chanyeol whispered back, entering the kitchen. The light coming through the window illuminate his body. Kyungsoo was really weak for sleepy Chanyeol.

-Can't sleep?

-You know I can't.

Kyungsoo looked back at his glass when Chanyeol opened the fridge and started to drink milk straight from the carton. Well, good that he is feeling himself. The redhead took a lot of big sips then he looked at Kyungsoo and at opened window.

-You will catch a cold.

He added when he saw that Kyungsoo was now in the thinner shirt. He closed the window staying by him and took another sip of milk. Then he rubbed his mouth using his sleeve and put the carton back in the fridge.

-Let's hope that Baekhyun won't see this.

Chanyeol smacked his saliva and finally, he focused all his attention on sleepy and miserable looking Kyungsoo. He was looking how the smaller is playing with the glass in his hands. Finally, he looked up and Chanyeol. He needed to look closely to get used to the dark light and decided that the person in front of him is really Chanyeol. Even that they were together for an almost whole day in the same room they only speak together for like three times and Kyungsoo didn't have the occasion to be with him alone.

-Why are you not sleeping? And why are you eating everything that is in Baekhyun's fridge?

Kyungsoo furrowed his brows when he saw a banana in Chanyeol's hand, it wasn't there five seconds ago.

-I guess I couldn't sleep without the talk with you.

Chanyeol ate a banana to the end, not looking away from Kyungsoo who get shy after Chanyeol's answer. It was so easy for him to say this, without any emotions, Kyungsoo didn't know if he was serious, but he felt that his cheeks were getting really hot. So good that it was dark and Chanyeol for sure didn't see that.

-Stop this.

-Stop what.

-It's not true for sure.

Chanyeol shrugged his shoulders, rubbing his mouth again with his sleeve and then he put his hands on the countertop between Kyungsoo's legs, leaning into him, but Kyungsoo didn't move away.

-Well, I think that's true Soo.

He admitted cutely making Kyungsoo wanted to smile so hard, but he keeps it cool, looking at Chanyeol's face.

-I was worried about you. I was just going to check if you didn't vomit in your sleep. But you are here so I don't think I need to go now.

Kyungsoo let himself laugh now, it went out louder than he thought. His eyes were now really big sized when he felt Chanyeol's big and warm hand on his mouth.

-Shh, you will wake up others. We don't want that.

Chanyeol leant forward, even more, his hand been taken away from his mouth by Kyungsoo but he put her on his thigh.

-We don't want that?

Kyungsoo lowered his tone, gulping his saliva. His heart was again beating was, don't know why.

Chanyeol only shook his head.

-Why not?

He asked shyly, with really quiet tone, he was feeling like his cheeks were burning. Why Chanyeol was so close.

-I don't want them to hear your moans.

Chanyeol whispered into Kyungsoo's parted lips and he couldn't just stop himself from a soft moan. He opened his eyes, being blind for a while when light attached his eyes. Kyungsoo blinked many times to get used to the morning light that was coming from the window. Then he realised that it was a dream, a fucking realistic dream. His heart was still beating fast in his chest, hair wet and stuck to the forehead. Kyungsoo will probably never drink anything again.

He almost fell down feeling something or rather someone moving next to him. He tensed when he felt long leg pressing between his thighs. Kyungoo was so scared to turn his head around and see who is he sleeping with. What if this dream wasn't really a dream and he really landed with someone.. with Chanyeol in bed.

Then an arm landed on his back forcing Kyungsoo to turn around and be closer to his "lover".

-God, Sehun.

He sighed so hard with all the air he was holding in his lungs because he was too scared to breathe. He heard from his friend just some mumble which made the stone fell from his heart cause it's really was just Sehun.

So he had just stupid, really stupid and realistic dream. 

With sweaty hands he rubbed face and when he rose up all he felt was a pain. Pain in every part of his body. His head was throbbing, back and neck were hurting because his pillow he doesn't know how but it was on the floor. _Oh god, please no._ He panicked when he looked down and he saw another reason for this morning to be the worst morning in the history.

One thing that liked his dream. Big, aching erection. Kyungsoo cursed in his mind didn't know what he should do. Should he go back to his flat before everyone will wake up? But for this, he will need Sehun, who he would need to wake up and then Sehun would be asking too many questions so it's not a good idea.

So Kyungsoo decided to just ignore it for some time. He though after looking at himself in the mirror in every angle -  that his erection wasn't that much visible. It took him a long time to go downstairs, probably everyone woke up at that time. He stopped on the third step when he thought about that maybe Chanyeol is in the kitchen right now, alone. Maybe it's still his dream? 

Rather nightmare.

 It was too early for him to think properly. Probably the alcohol was still working in his veins and it was still playing tricks against him. Kyungsoo wanted to go back to the bedroom when he heard some noises from kitchen, maybe he will just turn aro-

-Our party beast is awake!

Baekhyun screamed at Kyungsoo who furrowed his forehead feeling like his friend's voice was bouncing inside his head, like an echo, it hurt him, really.

-Uh.

Was everything that Kyungsoo had to tell. He looked at everyone who was already in the kitchen looking hella alive unlike him. He scolded himself because the first thing he saw was a pair of big eyes looking through him, of course, these were Chanyeol's. He turned his gaze away feeling like Chanyeol could read his mind and he sat as far as possible from the redhead.

-How are you feeling?

Jongdae asked just right before Kyungsoo sat next to him asking Minseok for a plate with eggs for him too.

-I think it can't be worst.

Kyungsoo really meant it. He didn't know if this morning could be crazier and more painful. He was feeling really terrible.

-That's how ends Baekhyun's parties.

Jongdae said with care in his tone, his hand on Kyungsoo's back rubbing it lightly when Kyungsoo was pressing his cheek to the cold table and he was dreaming just about his home and that he could just jerk off his burdensome erection while thinking about his creepy and real as fuck dream, maybe his head could hurt just a little less too. That's all what he was asking for. 

But Sehun was the only one person who was still sleeping.

-That's not true. Only Kyungsoo ended like this. So something must be wrong with him.

Baekhyun spoke again, so loud that Kyungsoo had to rose his head. He found leg under the table, probably his loud ass friend who was sitting opposite him and he kicked his ankle with his lack of strength. But Baekhyun didn't even move.

-Hey...what did I do to you.

Chanyeol was sounding like big, resentful kid and Kyungsoo's heart hurt a little when he let himself look at him just for a short while. The redhead furrowed his brows feeling pain and he bent down to massage his ankle.

-Oh. Sorry. I was supposed to kick Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo said shyly not sounding harsh like before. He looked again under the table finding another pair of legs and he kicked it right away so no one could suspect that Kyungsoo is behaving weird. Good. God.

*

Did Chanyeol saw something? Or Kyungsoo's mind is really hating him. Every time he looked at him their eyes met and Kyungsoo was always the one who looked away first. It's impossible that two persons could have the same dream, right? He didn't want to ignore him, but every time he looked at his friend his dream was popping up in front of his eyes and his stomach and something else was really hurting him. So he decided that his plate with eggs was more interesting that everything around.

Finally. Kyungsoo thought when he saw Sehun in the doors, straightening his bones. He greeted with everyone but his gaze stay longer on Kyungsoo's when he was sending to his friends some weird face expressions. Happily, Sehun was enough smart that he walked to his friend who was calling him with all those gestures and he leant down so no one could hear that what Kyungsoo wanted to say, but that made everyone look at their direction.

-Could you give me your keys? I want to go back home.

Sehun moved away just to look closely at Kyungsoo's face to see any emotions.

-Did something happen?

Kyungsoo sighed because Sehun couldn't just be discreet like he was and he asked him so loud that even Chanyeol looked up. Kyungsoo shook his head fast looking long at Sehun who was still reading his mind. Hope that he isn't some dream reader.

-I'm just not feeling very well.

-You want me to go with you?

-It's okay... I think I can go alone.

Sehun sat with his butt on a table looking weird at Kyungsoo then his hand slipped on his forehead and he shook his head.

-You have a temperature.

Yes, bravo Sehun. You just missed your vocation. But Kyungsoo thought that is a good idea to stimulate so he sighed really hard, he would do that if he would be sick.

-You can't go alone. What if you will faint in the middle of your way?

-I can drive him. I wasn't drinking much last night.

Kyungsoo frozed recognising right away whose voice was that.

-You don't hav-

-Chanyeol! You're an angel.

Sehun smiled to him, then he looked at Kyungsoo and he rubbed his hair. Then he ordered to Kyungsoo that he need to eat his breakfast for some strength. He was eating so fast like at that time Chanyeol could just change his mind but he ate fast his breakfast and he disappeared to change his clothes.

-Are you ready?

He asked and Kyungsoo just nodded, maybe if he's gonna pretend that he is really ill Chanyeol wouldn't ask many questions and he will have a peace of mind.

Did Kyungsoo said that this can't be worse? 

He was wrong. Way to home was really getting longer. Traffic jams were everywhere, Kyungsoo would be in his flat right away if he would just go on his feet. He was nervous. Kyungsoo was even scared to look at Chanyeol. He couldn't just stop thinking about this nightmare. Not when he remembered how realistic it was. For now, he could feel his hand on his thigh when he realised that he was squeezing his thigh, he let it go, coughing awkwardly.

-It's hot here.

Kyungsoo breaks the silence. He wasn't paying attention to Chanyeol but he could hear all the time that he was humming the song from the radio. Kyungsoo opened a window to half. Right away he felt way better when the cold air slapped his red cheeks. But it wasn't long because when they were standing on the red lights Chanyeol leant to Kyungsoo and he closed the window.

-You will catch a cold.

Kyungsoo looked at Chanyeol, closely, first time from a really long time. But wait...He heard those words somewhere. Good God. What if this dream was prophetic. Kyungsoo gulped his saliva loud looking at Chanyeol's side profile. He looked at his hands who were squeezing the wheel. When he realised that his teeth were in his lip and that he was staring like a weirdo he looked away right away. Just one moment and he will be at his home.

-So, are you feeling that bad?

Kyungsoo just nodded trying to act again like an ill person.

-Do you want me to do something for you?

Chanyeol didn't look away from the street when Kyungsoo thought that he could do to him so many things right now.

-I could make you tea or give you some medicine? I think you just drank too much.

Kyungsoo didn't know why he agreed. He wanted to be alone, alone to think about all this before Sehun will not come back. But he agreed so fast not even thinking about that he will spend again more time with just Chanyeol. But it was so nice from him. Kyungsoo never refuse to Chanyeol.

-I think that too, Sehun it's just overreacting with that fever and everything.

-Let me see.

Chanyeol took his one free hand and placed her on Kyungsoo's forehead previously taking his bangs away. He furrowed his brows that moved his hand to Kyungsoo's cheek who was also really warm.

-You're all heated Soo.

-I have no idea why.

Kyungsoo shrugged and his cheeks were really burning. He was still feeling Chanyeol's cold fingers even when now they were holding thigh the wheel.

*

-If you want you can come back. I think I can make it alone.

Kyungsoo took off his jacket, looking up at Chanyeol who was also taking off his scarf and jacket.

-Can't I just stay?

-Do you want to?

-I want.

They both shared a smile and Chanyeol went to the kitchen. The redhead caught Kyungsoo's elbow when he saw that he is taking the cups from the cupboard, then he took his small body into his arms and took him to the living room.

-Lay down I will make everything.

-Chanyeol, I'm not that ill.

But the redhead wasn't listening to him, he was standing above Kyungsoo waiting for him to sit on the couch and take a blanket. 

-Better now?

He asked, with the soft blanket under his chin, although he was smiling all the time. Just because he was with Chanyeol. It was always like that. They were rarely alone, just the two of them, but Kyungsoo needed to do that more because he was feeling really comfortable now. Chanyeol again disappeared in the kitchen and Kyungsoo sighed because he was feeling a little better now. His head wasn't pumping that hard now and his erection was gone, he thought that it was really impossible.

Chanyeol came back to the living room with cups and medicine for Kyungsoo who thanked him with the cutest smile he could ever make. The redhead sat really close to Kyungsoo, giving him tea. He was under Chanyeol's gaze all the time.

-Do you like mine and Sehun's friends?

-I think they are fine. Do you think that they could like me?

Kyungsoo laughed hearing big hope in Chanyeol's tone but he nodded because the taller was still waiting. Kyungsoo sipped his hot tea, touching Chanyeol's knee with his own.

-I'm sure they already like you. I don't remember much from yesterday, but I'm sure you did well.

-Your head is really weak.

-Stop Chanyeol. I always end up like an idiot.

Kyungsoo was sounding now a little too seriously and Chanyeol felt that right away. He took his hand and he put his arm around Kyungsoo.

-No one thought about you like that.

Chanyeol made a break from talking but Kyungsoo was feeling that he wanted to say something more so he deftly turned his head that his cheek was now on Chanyeol's arm. It was really and nice position. Kyungsoo could stay like that as much as he will get over his false illness.

-But the one in the light hair... Minseok, yes Minseok. He said that you started to think that much because of Jongin.

-Maybe. I didn't like drinking before that much.

He answered really fast didn't wanted to think about the word on J.

-Nevermind.

Kyungsoo said when Chanyeol wanted to say something again. He felt in his bones that it was also about Jongin and he didn't want to listen to that.

He drank his tea and then leant to the table to put his cup and take the medicine that Chanyeol got for him when he felt the redhead big hand moving from his arm to his back, massaging it in such a pleasant way that Kyungsoo didn't want to rose up. But he did that and the first thing he saw was Chanyeol's face.


	6. He didn't forget

The first thing his eyes meet was Chanyeols' face, being more precisely it were his lips very close to Kyungsoo's face. Right away in his throat, there was a lack of saliva and he couldn't say anything about that closeness that wasn't even that uncomfortable. His gaze stayed way too long on Chanyeol's lips so he dared to look up at his eyes.

-Um...

Was everything that Kyungsoo could say right now when Chanyeol got closer and his lips brushed the corner of his lips. He glanced up, exchanging their gazes, searching for some emotions or objections. Both of them stay in silent. Kyungsoo's quick look at his lips made Chanyeol respond with another kiss, this time on his lips but still light as if he was testing.

Kyungsoo rested his forehead on his temple, breathing into his lips. This time he returned kiss passionately, and when he pulled his head back, he gazed up at him to see his reaction which was still peaceful. Chanyeol almost smiled when he felt Kyungsoo's cold fingertips on his cheek but again his lips touched his, kiss becoming passionate.

The redhead's hand squeezed Kyungsoo's back making him rise on his knees, this one time he was taller than Chanyeol. He was teasing all the time, not allowing Chanyeol to dominate him like he wanted to.

Kyungsoo smiled while another soft kiss when Chanyeol with just one motion placed him on his thighs. They both wanted more. Kyungsoo was feeling that in Chanyeol's hot breath and in his fingers who were tightly clutched his back.

The redhead was admiring how beautifully Kyungsoo is looking on his thighs, with his chest lifting up and falling down in fast pace, then he gazed at his lips, full, plump and lightly parted just asking for another kiss which Chanyeol gave him, kissing him eagerly which left him short of breath.

He couldn't just keep his hands to himself so his hand touched Kyungsoo's still warm skin, thumb teasing his bottom lip. Kyungsoo grabbed his wrist starting to kiss his finger passionately just like it was his lips, not looking away from Chanyeol's hungry gaze. It gave him a little too much pleasure when he started to suck on his thumb and a soft moan left his opened lips.

Right after that Kyungsoo leant back to kiss him, unable to resist. 

Finally, he gave up on being the dominant one when he was the neediest almost whimpering when Chanyeol started to kiss his jawline. He closed his eyes, bending back and he gave all his body to the redhead when suddenly he heard something. The noise of knocking on the door passed by his muffled mind, he wasn't sure does he really heard that but he opened his eyes, looking around the flat. Again sound of knocking. Kyungsoo panicked, grabbing Chanyeol's curls to pull him away from his neck.

-Uh, so naughty.

Was everything that Kyungsoo got back from Chanyeol but the knocking was getting louder and he had to use his strength to pull the redhead away who was looking really confused right now, looking at Kyungsoo who had his eyes wide opened.

-Someone is knocking on the door. I think Sehun came back.

Kyungsoo stood up onto his weak legs when Chanyeol almost didn't fall from the couch when he also heard the knocking. In the hallway Kyungsoo wiped his lips wet from saliva, straightening his creased shirt. _God. He will find out right away._  

He took a deep breath before opening the door. Surprisingly there wasn't Sehun. In front of his face were big, colourful bouquet of flowers. Behind them was standing not so tall man with a pen in his mouth.

-Good morning. Are you... - He looked at the notebook he was holding and then continued - Do Kyungsoo?

He just nodded his head, being confused with all this situation.

-Yes, that's me.

He added looking curiously at the men who noted something down, then gave Kyungsoo bouquet and left without a word.

-Was that Se-

Chanyeol didn't continue when he saw big bouquet in small Kyungsoo's hand.

-From who is it?

He didn't answer, putting the flowers on the table, looking in them something. He found a small piece of paper with the handwritten message that was saying "I'm Sorry". Kyungsoo felt behind him Chanyeol's figure who also read this.

-Um...it's nice of him?

Kyungsoo was still stood in silence. Lookin at the flowers, they were really beautiful, but Kyungsoo didn't understand why Jongin did it just now.

-Did he think that by bouquet he will make up everything?

He finally spoke up, turning around to Chanyeol. Looking up he found out that the redhead was surprised and confused just as Kyungsoo who didn't know what to do with that gift.

He sighed really loud, he was feeling really heavy in his chest now. He didn't want to think how he was feeling a few minutes ago sitting on Chanyeol's lap. He just wanted to disappear because what he should do now? Should he keep the flowers? Would that mean that he accepted the apologies?

Kyungsoo felt like his body was relaxing just because Chanyeol's hand was now on his shoulder, touching it calmly. He didn't know what happened some time ago but right now he wanted to stand on his tippy toes and kiss Chanyeol again without any words, just to feel like he had no worries, just like everything is okay. But the flat was now smelling like the flowers, which were somehow smelling like Jongin and Kyungsoo just couldn't throw him away from his mind.

-What are you thinking about that?

Chanyeol asked quiet, taking his hand off from his shoulder, putting his both hands into his pockets. Kyungsoo didn;t know what he was thinking about. His head was a mess. 

There was a time when he was thinking about Jongin all the time, but there was also a time, just like before, when he forgot that Jongin is even existing. How bad was that sounding?

But that's meant that Jongin didn't forget about Kyungsoo.

He sighed again, sitting on the couch with his face covered by his hand, rubbing her. Should he feel guilty because of what he did? Because the guiltiness was eating him from inside. Why couldn't he get those flowers like fifteen minutes faster?

But.

Would that change anything? Maybe he and Chanyeol would kiss anyway? Kyungsoo gazed up, he couldn't answer himself on that question, not when near was Chanyeol who was distracting Kyungsoo just by standing here.

-Shouldn't you go back?

He breaks the silence making Chanyeol came back on the earth. His face expression was blank but in his tone, Kyungsoo could felt something that made him feel even worst. He didn't want him to go, but he just needed to be alone for some time, is that so wrong?

-Um, yeah, yes, I think I need to go back.

He answered sadly, after a long time of thinking. Kyungsoo forced a smile when Chanyeol took his jacket and left slamming the door hard.

Great, now Chanyeol was angry at him. But what should he do right now? 

Kyungsoo was looking at the flowers, he liked them but they didn;t change anything. Thousands of bouquets wouldn't fix this. He needed a proof that Jongin has really changed. He took one rose starting to pulling off her's petals one by one.

He didn't want to talk with Sehun about that, he just said that he got flowers from Jongin, avoiding the situation with Chanyeol. He ends up in the room which was his new bedroom, wrapped in a blanket with his mind full of thoughts. His first though weren't flowers neither Jongin, it was Chanyeol. His smile, his loud laugh, the way he always makes sure that Kyungsoo is okay, the way he makes him always feel safe and in good mood.

Kyungsoo finally, after many attempts he fell asleep thinking about this everything and about his soft kisses.

*

-I can't believe you're really taking me out, it's been like hundred years.

Sehun laughed, opening doors for Kyungsoo who entered the restaurant first where he invited his best friend.  

-I have to repay you for the roof over my head.

But it wasn't the only reason why Kyungsoo invited him for the dinner.

-You don't hav-

-Surprise!

Kyungsoo started to screaming and Junmyeon, who was sitting and waiting for them, stood up and started to screaming with Kyungsoo. They both laughed seeing shook in Sehun's face. He wanted to stay something but Junmyeon was faster and he offered him his hand.

-Maybe you don't remember me. I'm Junmyeon.

-Of course, he does!

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes when he saw how formally they greet, ignoring how Sehun kicked his ankle. He grabbed his hand forcing him to sit down opposite to Junymeon. Sehun looked like he wanted to run away but Kyungsoo knew that after the dinner his friend will be thanking him for that. He could see in Junmyeon's eyes that he was really impressed by how Sehun was now looking and how well he has grown up.

Kyungsoo could feel that Sehun is really stressed. It was always like that because Sehun was getting nervous and clumsy when he was with a person who he liked too much. So Soo decided to help him a little. He wished that Sehun could finally find somebody because everything he was doing was babysitting Kyungsoo.

-How much it passed? 5 years?

Kyungsoo asked excited, holding in his hands a menu. He felt from time to time that Sehun was kicking or poking him under the table just to stop making him feel ashamed but Junmyeon was smiling and laughing all the time so that's was a good sign.

Junmyeon laughed again nodding to Kyungsoo's words then he rested on a table which made him being closer to Sehun.

Kyungsoo thought that it was really a good idea especially when Sehun was feeling now braver and he also was flirting with Junymeon. If Kyungsoo wasn't happy he would probably throw up. 

*

They both just ended talking about Junmyeon's come back to the city and his work as a teacher when he, unfortunately, changed the topic.

-So Kyungsoo, what's with your moving? Are you still with Jongin?

The smaller almost didn't choke on his toast when he heard Jongin's name. Damn it, it's supposed to be their date so why of all sudden Junymeon, after two hours of looking at Sehun,  remembered that Kyungsoo is still here.

-I'm still living with Sehun. It's complicated.

He wanted to end this topic so he put into his mouth large piece of bread, in the case if he got another question he could just think about the answer.

-The last time when I saw Jongin was probably at his birthday party? You know...- Junmyeon was scratching his chin trying to remember something - In that club where Sehun couldn't get in because he was too young.

Kyungsoo forced a little smile when Sehun just rolled his eyes.

-Yeah....um, that's was the last time when I saw him.

Kyungsoo furrowed his brows seeing the confused Junmyeon who already ended the topic and didn't come back to it.

Not until Kyungsoo went to the toilet because he drank too much orange juice which they got for free because they bought a lot of toast in today's promotion.

-I can't get out of my mind one thing.

-What's that?

Sehun looked up when he heard Junmyeon's hard sigh. The elder looked around, leaning more into Sehun's side and he did the same feeling like his cheeks were getting little red, strong cologne attacked his nostrils but he was trying hard to concentrate on that Junmyeon wanted to say him, not on those details like his barely visible beard which Sehun could see now when they were so close.

-Promise me you won't tell Kyungsoo, okay?

Sehun wasn't sure because he really was telling everything to Kyungsoo but he whispered anyway short "okay".

-I was talking about the birthday party... Last time I saw Jongin there, I guess that's why it was last time because..

Junmyeon was stopping at almost every moment, thinking about good words and looking around to see if Kyungsoo is not coming back from the toilet, Sehun was getting impatient and nervous a little.

-I saw him. I saw him kissing a girl.

Sehun moved his head away just to look at the elders face to see if he is not joking but this time he was really serious. Unlike before when he was smiling all the time. Beautiful smile.

-Are you sure that it was him?

-Yes. I was speaking with him that time. He even threatened me.

Junmyeon laughed ironically this time.

-He told me that I will lose my job if Kyungsoo will know about this situation somehow.

He looked around again.

-It was really hard for me, really Sehun. But I already lost this job so I decided that I would tell just you.

Sehun couldn't tell anything about that because Kyungsoo came back with a smile on his face but Sehun neither Junmyeon couldn't smile to him back. 

Kyungsoo took his phone when he felt the vibration. He sighed seeing from who he got the message, even three.

From: Chanyeol, hour: 02:32 pm

hiyaa

From: Chanyeol, hour: 02:32 pm

can we meet 

 From: Chanyeol, hour: 02:32 pm  

i want to talk

Kyungsoo put his phone away, smiling to Junmyeon when he looked at him. He decided not to answer right now on Chanyeol's messages especially when he was with his friends and the last thing he could be thinking right now was meeting with Chanyeol, there was a mess still in his head. He was trying to forget about this and he interjected into their conversation to busy his mind from thinking.

*

-Is everything okay?

Sehun asked immediately, putting his arm around Kyungsoo who was walking next to him with his head hidden into his turtleneck. He was worried that something happened to Kyungsoo because he spoke maybe like two times since they were alone.

-Yeah, it's okay.

Kyungsoo just nodded not even taking care of looking up at his Friend.

-Are you sure? You don't seem like that.

Sehun pokes him again with his arm just to Kyungsoo could back on the earth with his mind. He was scared that maybe his friend could hear his conversation with Junmyeon, he was thinking about that all the time. He heard Kyungsoo's little sigh and he already knew that he will talk now.

-How do you like our teacher?

Kyungsoo looked finally up, smiling softly and he knew that Sehun will not stop talking. And he was right. Sehun was talking all the way to the market about Junmyeon and even when they were walking back to the house. He was talking like a teenager in love and Kyungsoo was really happy that he could see Sehun like that.

*

Kyungsoo was trying so hard to lengthen and move the conversation with Chanyeol who was begging for that all the time. It's could sound like Kyungsoo was cruel but he wasn't ready. He didn't know what he should tell him. On the one hand, he wanted to forget about that but in the other hand everything was attracting him to Chanyeol and he wanted to repeat that again and he was scared that it will happen again. He couldn't ignore Chanyeol more when he stopped writing messages and he just called Kyungsoo.

He took a deep breath and answered the phone after three signals with a hope that Chanyeol will hang up.

-Kyungsoooo.

He smiled right away, hugging his knees to his chest. Chanyeol was sounding like always. Not like the last time Kyungsoo heard him. Kyungsoo was thinking that he will be still mad but it's not like him.

-Chanyeoool.

Kyungsoo could feel that the redhead is also smiling.

-So - he chewed something and then continues - Why were you ignoring me all the time?

-Oh, I wasn't doing that... I was just busy, I'm sorry.

Kyungsoo heard quiet mutter on the other side so he decided to continue.

-What was so important that you couldn't just let me live?

Kyungsoo asked jokingly but Chanyeol's tone was now serious.

-I wanted to apologise.

-For what?

Long sigh. Kyungsoo wanted to sigh too, his chest was heavy and he wanted to let it all go.

-I'm sorry that I've kissed you... I shouldn't do it, especially when you have a boyf-

-Chanyeol, stop.

Kyungsoo stopped him when he heard that Chanyeol's voice was getting higher. Should he apologise too? For something that both of them want? The one person who needs a apologise were Jongin but that is another story.

-But-

-Don't apologise for something that I wanted too.

Kyungsoo sighed hearing the other side nothing but silence. He couldn't believe that he said something like that, he said something that was sitting in the bottom of his heart, something that he couldn't realise to himself.

-You wanted that?

Kyungsoo bit his lips hearing in Chanyeol's voice a hope. He couldn't either believe that he said that, but he couldn't repeat that. His cheeks were getting red now and he wanted to hide under his blanket even if no one was seeing him now.

-Don't make me say that again.

Chanyeol laughed and if Kyungsoo would be near him he will hit him for sure.

-I wanted that too Soo.

The redhead added making his tone serious again. Kyungsoo closed his eyes, saying those words many times in his head because everything felt better now.

-I could do this again.

Kyungsoo finally said that, biting his blanket. He was feeling weird saying those things to his friend, he was feeling like he was doing really bad and unsuitable thing but everything was good because it was Chanyeol.

-I want to be with you right now. I'm thinking about you all the time Soo.

Chanyeol murmured what made Kyungsoo get out from his blanket, he needed to think straight.

-Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo wanted to stop him but in the answer, he got just his name which in Chanyeol's tone sounds really hot.

-I want your soft lips right now one me.

He closed his eyes, breathing a little too fast now.

-I want to feel you Soo.

He wanted this too, even more in this moment. He tightened his fingers on the phone, stopping from saying anything stupid.

-Ch-Chanyeol, thank you for your call.

Kyungsoo didn't wait for his answer, he cancelled the call with his shaky hands.

 


	7. Guilty feeling

Kyungsoo was thinking about one thing all the time. 

He needs a job. His sojourn in Sehun's flat was getting longer so he was worrying that it's getting worse for Sehun to pay for everything for two persons.

He was reminding and telling Sehun all the time that if he wants some space then Kyungsoo can go live somewhere else, he wasn't thinking were because his best friend always stopped him and denied. After that Sehun made sure that Kyungsoo is feeling comfortable and welcome in his flat. 

Kyungsoo was thinking that he wasn't much demanding, he never asked Sehun for money or something like that. He had some cash which was from Jongin, but still, he felt bad that everything was on Sehun's shoulders. So he decided to change that, he will find a job and he will have money for rent and maybe from time to time, he will make shopping. He wanted to repay Sehun for everything that he did to him.

Next reason why Kyungsoo wanted to find a job was his school which was too hard for him. He was going only on lessons that he wanted to, his grades weren't great too. He was sure that with his the current education he will find a job like a waiter or something like that and from the tips - after a few years - he will save money for his own flat.

Kyungsoo left school after 8 hours and now he really wanted to leave it. This day was so tiring, he was having a painful headache from an excess of science, his fingers hurts him from too much writing and his butt was hurting from sitting. For sure job as a waiter is not as tiring as being a student.

He sighed, biting the tip of pen reading another job offer where they needed a young, handsome and tall man who will stand in front of the shop and will invite people to the shop. It could be for Kyungsoo maybe without the handsome and tall requirement.

-Oh! I think I have found something!

Minseok broke the silence, which was between them because they both were focused on reading the offers, Kyungsoo on the local newspaper while Minseok was searching on the internet. Kyungsoo gazed up taking a sip of his black and hot coffee.

.-"I need a young, energetic and friendly person from now to my newly opened cafe. Requirements: age of consent and personal culture"

The elder lifted his brows seeing the interesting painting on Kyungsoo's face, it's probably because of those high requirements. Minseok gave him his phone so he could read this by himself meanwhile, he took a sip of his coffee.

-So, what do you think about that?

He asked with curiosity. Minseok was happy inside him that finally, he find something because they were searching for a good hour and nothing. Kyungsoo even made a few calls but the offers were already closed.

-I will try to call them.

Kyungsoo shrugged his shoulders writing the number from the offer to his phone and after two signals and talk with the boss probably, he got to know that the offer is actual and he will meet with the boss tomorrow. 

-Thank You Minsokie. If I will get that job I will take you wherever you want.

He thanked his elder friend with a soft smile. Finally closing the newspaper he rubbed his eyes, they were also hurting him from all these small letters written in small font, he was feeling really tired so he drank his coffee to the end, thanked Minseok for their meeting even when Minseok was always busy but he found some time for Kyungsoo. He walked him to the bus and on his way to home he decided to buy a cheesecake for Sehun. All this physical pain today made Kyungsoo being a good person for everyone.

*

-Sehun?

Kyungsoo asked loud, undressing from his coat then he poked his head from door jamb looking for Sehun.

-I'm here. Come here fast.

He furrowed his brows going to the living room where he sounded Sehun's voice. On the table, on the couch even on the ground, there was a lot of bouquets, various being from roses to the sunflowers, Kyungsoo's favourites.

-What's that.

-Well, I decided to become a florist.

Sehun rolled his eyes, looking just a little irritated but Kyungsoo couldn't do anything but just laugh coming to the biggest bouquet of roses. He bit his lower lip taking out the small card with the with the handwritten inscription " _I miss You_ ".

-He is impossible.

Kyungsoo whispered being amazed by the view he had right now in front of him. He walked to every bouquet reading the notes not stopping smiling. The flowers were really beautiful and for sure it all was really expensive but Kyungsoo didn't know what is Jongin's point of those gifts.

-Do something with that, my nose hurts.

Kyungsoo looked up at Sehun. He was seeming like he was mad at him, but he remembered that he bought cheesecake so he gave it to him.

-Sorry. That's for you.

He scratched his neck looking around. What should he do with that? Should he just throw them away?

-Kyungsoo you should call him.

Sehun was sounding now a much lighter when he opened his little gift from Kyungsoo and started to eating the soft cheesecake with a plastic fork.

-I don't kno-

-Call and tell him that I don't want more flowers in my flat.

He added fast with his mouth full of food when Kyungsoo got already all nervous. It seems so impossible to just call Jongin, he didn't talk with him in ages it felt like an eternity. Maybe he even forgot how Jongin's voice sounds like.

-Call him Soo, I know you want that.

Sehun added now with his tone all soft and nice which made Kyungsoo feel better just a little because his phone started to ringing.

-Oh my god. _It's Jongin._

His hands started to sweat, he blinked many times just to make sure that he was seeing clear now. On his phone, there was a big ass name "My Jongin". He was really calling, finally.

-Are you gonna pick up or not?

Sehun furrowed his forehead seeing how Kyungsoo is blankly looking at his phone. The smaller nodded. With his hand all sweaty and shaky he pressed the green button. He took a big breath with his phone by his ear, he was scared to spoke first.

-Kyungsoo?

Sweet lord. Kyungsoo didn't forget how his voice was sounding.

-Yes?

He felt that Sehun is poking him which means that he need to get a grip but he just ignored him, sitting far from Sehun.

-Do you like the flowers?

-Um...Yeah, yes, they are very pretty. But could you stop sending them? It's still Sehun's flat and I don't want to litter his flat by all those bouquets... Plus he seems like he is allergic to some of them.

Sehun laughed and Kyungsoo threw a pillow at him so he could shut up. He was looking from his feet to Sehun over and over again but he heard just a hard sigh on the other side.

-Sorry, I know that you like them very much.

Kyungsoo melted in the couch. He felt like he didn't talk with Jongin in thousand years, he missed his voice, he missed the way he sighed, he missed even the fact that Jongin, like no one else, know everything about him, even his favourites flowers.

-So... I was thinking that maybe we could meet? I know we are on the break but it's just a meeting, right? I would like to see you.

He wanted to agree right away, he realised how much he wanted that. In all those weeks he was convincing himself that he didn't miss Jongin, he was trying to live like Jongin was never in his life but now it all come back to him.

But Kyungsoo needed to keep common sense. This was Jongin last chance. Maybe penultimate.

-I want to see you too.

He finally answered, maybe he was silent for too long. Kyungsoo felt how Sehun's body is close to his, also his ear was now near his phone to listen to their conversation but Kyungsoo was trying just no to lose his focus.

-Maybe tomorrow?

-Yes, of course, yes.

-6 pm?

-I'm good with that, yes, yes.

Sehun laughed again and Kyungsoo hit his arm again. He was watching his best friend who was now acting like a teenager who finally got a phone from her crush. Maybe Kyungsoo was feeling a little like a teenager now, he felt that his relationship with Jongin will start a new chapter.

-I can't wait to see you.

Kyungsoo could tell that Jongin was smiling now so he does the same.

-Me too. See you tomorrow.

Kyungsoo felt like his cheeks were getting red so he hangs up really fast then he hid his face in Sehun's shoulder, uttering a weird groan. What's what happening with him, why he couldn't talk with Jongin as always?

-I haven't had fun like this in a while.

Sehun said laughing but his hand started to stroke Kyungsoo's back who was feeling really embarrassed right now. He was feeling just like when he met Jongin and he was awkward and shy as fuck. Finally, Kyungsoo looked up and hit Sehun's shoulder who was still laughing.

-Do something with those flowers.

*

It's gonna be a hard day for Kyungsoo. He got woken up by two messages.

From: **_My Jongin_** , hour: 07:36 am

Can't wait to finally see you.

From: _**Chanyeol**_ , hour: 07:40 am

wanna meet up today? we can eat something and play ;p

He just rubbed his face putting his phone down without the answer. The first thing he needed to today wasn't his school. He had a meeting with that man from the offer in the cafe and he needed to do a good first impression. So he went to take a shower with his suspiciously good mood. 

He was trying not to get stressed too much, there wasn't any reason for him to be, right? They will take him or not, it was his first try and he isn't gonna give up easily. And so now here he is in a light and modernly decorated coffee. He already liked that place.

He wasn't that bad, maybe. The man that Kyungsoo meet was a really nice and talkative person and Kyungsoo was feeling comfortable with him so talking about himself wasn't that scary. The elder promised Kyungsoo that he will call him if he got that job or not. For Kyungsoo that already means that he fail, but it's okay.

The worst ist coming. Meeting with Jongin. It was stressing but still very exciting to finally see him. Kyungsoo wanted to know how he was by all this time, but he also wanted to see some changes in him.

But he still was feeling weird, differently. He was feeling guilty. He was feeling a twinge in his stomach when he thought just for a second about Chanyeol. He wanted these thoughts to disappear, he didn't want to think about what happened, not in front of Jongin otherwise, he couldn't look at his eyes.

He agreed when Jongin asked if he can come to Sehun's flat just because Sehun was not here. He was ready like two hours before their meeting but Jongin was like always before the time and Kyungsoo jumped on his seat when he heard knocking on the door.

Inhale and exhale Kyungsoo, it's just Jongin, your boyfriend, still.

He was scared that Jongin by just one look on Kyungsoo could tell that he was kissing with somebody else.

-Hello.

Kyungsoo smiled really soft when he saw Jongin even when he didn't want to. He didn't change really.  Hair the same, coat the same, the same warm smile. But he was still hoping that something changed.

-Hello, Soo. You look really good.

He thanked with just a smile and he let Jongin in. He was smelling so good, he wore Kyungsoo's favourite perfumes. He wanted just to hug him, to feel his warmth, to smell again like his boyfriend, he just wanted to be close to him like always. He needed that. But he wasn't brave enough so he just took his jacket and wore it slowly feeling Jongin's gaze on himself.

-We can go.

Jongin nodded waiting for Kyungsoo to close the doors. They both decided that it's gonna be better if they will go instead of driving by car to the restaurant where Jongin took's Kyungsoo. Outside it was really cold, the winter wasn't ending so Kyungsoo put his hands into his pocket and his chin in his turtleneck, not looking away from the ground.

The way to the restaurant wasn't long either wasn't talkative. Kyungsoo was happy because the place that Jongin choose was perfect. It wasn't too exclusive. It was nice, comfy and not too expensive, it was in Kyungsoo's taste. They found a secluded place where they sit opposite to each other.

Kyungsoo put his coat on his knees because he was still cold. Jongin noticed that because he gave him his scarf even when Kyungsoo said that he is okay. When Jongin wasn't looking - which was rarely - Kyungsoo was snuggling into the scarf, breathing his strong smell.

-Can we order first? I haven't eaten anything today and I'm dying of hunger.

Jongin asked, rubbing his cold hands then he opened the menu looking something for himself when Kyungsoo just nodded playing with the tip of the book. But he couldn't look away from Jongin. In that moment he just wanted to cry, he wanted to hug him, he wanted to beg that this circus - which he made by himself - will end. He wanted everything to be just like in the past, he wanted to have his own flat, not living with his friend and using him. This all really hit him hard right now just by looking at Jongin. Jongin who someday was Kyungsoo's, he was with him every day, he was kissing and hugging him every day. But it was long ago. Even if Kyungsoo sees him like that now, he knows that there is also second Jongin. Jongin who don't care about him, Jongin who destroyed their relationship and that's was the thing that Kyungoo hated about him. It was his fault. Not Kyungsoo's.

But he decided to be strong, for the rest of this evening. He didn't want to surrender to him just because this one-day Jongin was all smiley and happy.

Jongin gazed up seeing that Kyungsoo didn't even open his menu. He caught him looking at him but he didn't look away, Kyungsoo was looking straight into his eyes which were enlightened by the hanging lamps on the window, he looked at them the first time in 4 weeks. He couldn't feel any emotions in Jongin's face right now.

-I'm sorry, I'm not hungry.

He finally said because he was scared that with another blink he might start crying. Jongin wanted to say something but Kyungsoo overtook him.

-It's okay, order something, I will just take tea.

-Are you sure?

Kyungsoo just nodded looking at his hands and he felt Jongin's warm hand who was covering his two. He was looking for a long time at their hands when he decided to touch his fingers, squeezing them a little. He didn't want to let it go and Jongin didn't tell him to do it.

Kyungsoo was holding with his both hands Jongin's hand when he ordered his food and only tea for Kyungsoo. He wasn't glad because of that. He covered his dissatisfaction with a weak smile.

Their minds were full of unspeakable words. They knew each other so well that they didn't need a conversation to understand each other. Jongin wanted to apologise, he wanted to beg Kyungsoo for his comeback, he saw it in his eyes. Jongin took Kyungsoo's hands to his mouth and looking at his glassy eyes he kissed his hands.

-I'm so happy that you wanted to meet with me.

Jongin finally spoke, but really quiet, almost whispering.

-I was thinking about everything You said to me and you are the most important to me.

Another kiss landed on Kyungsoo's hand now warmer. But he just looked away from Jongin's face.

-You are more important than the job than everything. I promise.

Jongin was holding his hands so tight. Kyungsoo could feel in his fingers that he is nervous. He knows how Jongin behave when he is stressed.

-I will prove it to you. Just wait.

And Kyungsoo just nodded thanking god that Jongin's food came right now.

All evening Kyungsoo was feeling so bad, now even worse. He knew that Jongin will be gone in some hour and he will be alone, feeling again like always. Jongin will be not there when Kyungsoo is gonna need him the most. 

-You are so quiet today.

Jongin said, sipping his soup which he wanted to give Kyungsoo many times but without any effect.

-Sorry... I just... I missed you.

He finally said that not looking at Jongin this time. He hid his hands under the scarf because Jongin was busy eating, their legs were crossed together even if Kyungsoo wasn't feeling that.

-Me too Kyungsoo, too much.

*

It was already 11 pm and the restaurant was closed so they had to get out. Kyungsoo liked that place. He didn't want to go because he was just starting a lot more comfortable conversation with Jongin, just like once. 

-Take it, I know you are always cold.

Jongin took Kyungsoo's hands away from the scarf and make it up for him on his neck. His hands were still on Kyungsoo just like his gaze. He was looking where Jongin's eyes were looking and when he found out that he is looking at Kyungsoo's lips he moved away just a little.

-So...thank you for meeting...

Kyungsoo started shyly just to bring Jongin back on the ground.

He now remembered the advice from Sehun, he said that it's just a meeting. 

When Sehun learned about the situation that Junmyeon told him he was even more careful with all this relationship between Kyungsoo and Jongin. Sehun just couldn't tell Kyungsoo that he shouldn't meet with him.

-Thanks to you.

Jongin hid his hands into his pocket, stepping back so he could see Kyungsoo's full face, not just his lips which he wanted to kiss so much.

-Call me if you will have time for me.

Kyungsoo smiled sadly, he stood up on his tippy toes and kissed his cheek very lightly then he turned around not looking back.

*

He went to the closest bus stop, looking at the list of night busses. Then he sat on a bench, taking his phone from his pocket and he opened again the message from Chanyeol which he got in the morning.

To: **_Chanyeol_** , hour: 11:23 pm

I'll be soon.

He sighed heavily, hiding his face in scarf and hands in his pocket.

 


	8. Better part of the day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY  
> i'm so bad at writing smut it's actually my first time in english IM SO SORRY DONT READ THIS its really terrible god why

Kyungsoo was so cold because the bus was getting late, it's been almost 20 minutes. He didn't take his face from scarf which still was smelling like Jongin. Damn, he wanted to take it off right now but he didn't want to freeze. He ignored even when his phone buzzed. It was probably Sehun or Chanyeol so they could wait, especially Chanyeol because Kyungsoo it's gonna see him in few minutes if the bus will ever come.

His stomach was now flipping in his tummy. He didn't see the redhead since they kiss, but after the phone conversations, Kyungsoo guessed that they were fine.

During the dinner with Jongin, he let himself think maybe twice or more about Chanyeol.

He didn't want to be alone after meeting with Jongin. He would probably end up sobbing with a sad movie and tissues. He could do that the same with Chanyeol, right? But he already knew that with him he will feel better because it's always like that when they are together.

No subtext, Chanyeol was his friend, just like Sehun, but Sehun wasn't home today, that's all. Maybe Kyungsoo never thought about kissing Sehun but yeah Chanyeol and Sehun are in the same position.

When Kyungsoo was sitting in the bus he finally could take out his hands and phone from the pocket. Unfortunately, it wasn't a message from Sehun neither Chanyeol. So who could it be?

From: _My Jongin_ , hour: 11:36 pm

thank you soo again for our meeting. it was so nice to see you. i miss you really much and i cant sleep bc im thinking about you all the time.

Kyungsoo sighed, feeling warmth filling up his chest but he decided not to answer and ignore this temporary feeling.

After a long ride with the empty bus, he was finally in the warm building using an elevator because Chanyeol was living on the 6th floor and Kyungsoo couldn't feel his cold legs. The redhead didn't answer on his text message, maybe he was sleeping? But it was too early. Kyungsoo had hope that he is in his house because he didn't wait for the bus for 30 minutes and he didn't drive in the empty bus with just the driver who could be a murder to find out that Chanyeol isn't home.

He knocked twice, jumping from foot to foot so he could feel them a little.

-Kyungsoo?

Chanyeol opened the door slowly, his hair all messy, eyes small and face swollen, damn he really woke him up. Not for the first time, eh. But at the same time, Kyungsoo could felt like his heart jumped and a big smile crept on his lips. He was so happy that he saw him. He wasn't that happy since forever.

-Hellooo!

He almost laughed seeing that Chanyeol's eyes were almost closed but he let Kyungsoo in closing the door.

-So cold.

Chanyeol grabbed his bare arms and shook his body.

-Yeah, right, I'm so cold right now that I don't want to take my jacket off.

The redhead furrowed his brows but anyway he helped Kyungsoo and right away after he undressed Kyungsoo he hugged him tightly. The smaller didn't expect this but Chanyeol body was all warm and his arms felt like Kyungsoo's place on the earth. They were standing in the middle of the hall and when Chanyeol wanted to move, Kyungsoo protested, clutching more grip on his back.

-So what the hell was you doing outside in this weather?

He asked with his hoarse voice putting his chin on Kyungsoo's head. Should he say that he was on a meeting with Jongin? He didn't answer Chanyeol for a while because he was still thinking, yeah it will be better if he said that.

-I was at a meeting. Actually on two meetings. But first do me a tea, please.

Kyungsoo had to let go his tight grip, when he became so clingy? Chanyeol disappeared in the kitchen when Kyungsoo walked to his not too big living room. The tv was working, on the table, there was a mess and on the couch were big, warm blanket which Kyungsoo decided to take for himself.

-Do you need some help with cleaning?

Kyungsoo asked when the redhead came back with two big coups. He rubbed his eyes then started to clean the table eating the leftover from his hamburger.

-I was just tired and I didn't think you will come... well not that late.

-Sorry, I was busy.

He answered right away looking at Chanyeol who was really in bad condition and Kyungsoo just wanted to put him in his bed and came back to Sehun's flat, eventually, he could snuggle next to Chanyeol.

-Is it a bad time for the visit?

Kyungsoo added trying not to sound too hopeless but he did because Chanyeol smirked naturally.

-I'm glad you came.

He answered casually and that's all was enough to make Kyungsoo feel fine. After small cleaning Chanyeol sat next to Kyungsoo, with his long legs by his chest.

-So-

-So-

They both laughed when they started speaking at the same time. But Chanyeol let go Kyungsoo first, taking his tea into his hand sipping the hot tea.

-Why are you so tired?

Kyungsoo asked quietly. Tea, blanket, Chanyeol's warm house made Kyungsoo's body unfrozen. As he though it wasn't really uncomfortable between them right now. Maybe because Chanyeol was half alive.

Chanyeol told Kyungsoo that he was late for his bus today and he had to run to his school, he also was writing today two important exams which he was learning for like whole two days. Kyungsoo was improved how education was important for the redhead, unlike Kyungsoo whose aspiration was being a waiter.

-I think I should go, you need a good rest.

Kyungsoo said with a soft smile when Chanyeol's yawned but after that, he got up and shake his head vigorously that all of his messy strands jumped.

-No, don't go! Kyungsooo - Chanyeol whined - I'm okay.

He laughed because the redhead was cuter than ever but Kyungsoo took off blanket from his shoulders and when he wanted to get up, Chanyeol grabbed his hand pulling him back to the couch and closer to himself.

-Let me go. 

Chanyeol smiled cutely and Kyungsoo laughed at his face now, he felt like he was high or something.

-Soo..

The redhead started, sounding now a little teasing with a smile plastered on his face, his hand somehow found on Kyungsoo's arm, shifting up until he rested a hand on Kyungsoo's neck.

-I missed you.

He said softly, running a hand through his hair. Kyungsoo murmured softly leaning down a little with a help of Chanyeol's hand.

-I missed you too.

Kyungsoo whispered into his face, their mouths were almost touching. Chanyeol's hot breath against his parted lips. He was blinking now slowly, looking closely at Kyungsoo who was now hovering over him.

-I missed your lips.

Kyungsoo added, sitting on his knees between Chanyeol's thighs. Their breaths mixed and this time Kyungsoo decided to do first step. His lips covered his in a long warm kiss that was really comforting. He was keeping it slow with every another kiss feeling like all the stress was leaving their both bodies. Kyungsoo finally relaxed after the whole day. Not thinking about the unsuccessful interview for job, not thinking about Jongin and their weird meeting. 

Everything important was happening now.

Kyungsoo will regret this later or not. 

Chanyeol gasped into Kyungsoo's mouth when he pulled his head back and made him open his eyes.

-Will you stay?

He whispered almost inaudibly, glancing up at him from under his brows, smiling softly. That smile made Kyungsoo feel butterflies in his stomach.

-Just a little while, please.

He whispered again pressing a soft kiss on his lips. It felt different now. In a good way. The kiss became more passionate because of Kyungsoo who wanted to keep this feeling longer. He pulled away looking right into Chanyeol's eyes and he just nodded his head when the redhead's hand slipped under Kyungsoo's shirt. 

-But I can see how tired you are.

Kyungsoo added, putting his hands on Chanyeol's shoulders and he massaged them slowly seeing how his eyes shut down and how his head dropped back onto the headrest. 

-I'm okay with you.

Chanyeol just added with his eyes closed and hand still under the fabric. His fingers were caressing Kyungsoo's soft skin.

-So it's okay if I would do that?

Kyungsoo asked, biting his lower lip as he put his hands on Chanyeol's chest making him fall into soft pillows then he sat on his lap, swinging his hips feeling a bulge pressed into his thigh.

-What's was that exactly?

Chanyeol asked softly with a smirk. He pulled the smaller closer by his neck just to kiss him slowly after the last time they kissed he already missed Kyungsoo's lips.

-Go to sleep you jerk.

Kyungsoo said after the kiss when a shiver ran through his body as he sat again on Chanyeol's lap. Before Chanyeol could fall asleep Kyungsoo started to unzip his pants feeling like his own dick was now twitching in his jeans just from the view he had now. He bit his lower lip when Chanyeol's dick was now out and the tip was dripping wet into his tummy.

Kyungsoo lifted his hips to unzip his own pants, feeling Chanyeol's cold hands on his thigh as he squeezed them. 

-You are so hot.

Chanyeol gasped, stroking his dick slowly when he was watching how Kyungsoo's dick popped out from his tight pants.

-You better wait for me.

He mumbled, taking off Chanyeol's hand and he grabbed with his small hand both their hard and twitching dicks. 

-Oh god.

Kyungsoo moaned softly, they both were so wet that the friction was amazing. His hand were moving slowly up and down, it was really hard for his one hand to keep them together and he got tired of that too fast. Chanyeol saw that and laughed shortly.

-So eager.

The smaller felt how his cheeks blushed.

-Come here.

Kyungsoo pouted and Chanyeol got up, their chest now stuck together. The redhead could just feel how Kyungsoo's heart was pounding in his chest. He replaced his small hand with his one and started to stroke their lengths with a slow tempo. Kyungsoo clutched his hands together on Chanyeol's neck moving his hips a little.

He dragged his finger across the slit, smearing the precum over their lengths then he let it go and his thumb was now dragging up the vein on Kyungsoo's cock. The smaller was already a mess after a few hard strokes, he was so clingy to Chanyeol's chest leaving him to all the job. Even if in first though Kyungsoo was the one who wanted to make him feel a less stressful and a less tired but he couldn't just take the feeling of his good hands, squeezing and pulling his dick just how he needed it.

- _Fuck_ , Chanyeol.

He gasped, pushing his hips into his hand, rubbing against Chanyeol's hot cock and his even warmer hand. Kyungsoo let himself close his eyes indulging in pleasures.

He took his bottom lip in between his teeth trying to muffle his moans when Chanyeol's hand was now pumping at a steady pace, leaving messy kisses on Kyungsoo's forehead and temple. 

-Mhh.. fuck, yes, go faster, please.

He finally made up and say something meaningful to Chanyeol's skin but his breath became more and more ragged. He whined softly when Chanyeol's hand was stroking them even faster. They both were feeling tight and warm sensation coiling in their lower abdomen. 

-You like that babe?

Chanyeol gasped into Kyungsoo's neck which was now exposed because he bent down, feeling that he is closer and closer to the end.

-I bet you taste so good right now.

He added looking down at their erections. Damn, his hand and couch were so wet, he changed his hands and put one, dirty from precum finger into Kyungsoo's mouth. The smaller sucked on this so hard and greedily that Chanyeol added another finger, smirking. With his hand wet now from Kyungsoo's saliva he grabbed his chin and kissed him hungrily and messy. 

-Oh god, Chan-yeol, I'm so close. 

Kyungsoo groaned with the lack of strength but he took Chanyeol's dick into his hand just to help him because they both were so close, he couldn't wait any longer. Their strokes synchronise into the same pace. Kyungsoo's cheek now was on Chanyeol chest almost screaming in the fabric from pleasure. 

-Fuck, Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol moaned when now his dick was in Kyungsoo's small hand which give him even better feeling. They finally came so hard that Kyungsoo was shaking in Chanyeol's arms, the sperm landed on their thighs and couch. Kyungsoo didn't think about that now when he crawled onto Chanyeol's lap in a better position, trying to steady his breath just a little. Damn, he was a mess just because of Chanyeol's hand. The taller sighed with a soft smile plastered on his face and he laid down onto the pillows pulling Kyungsoo into his chest.

-So gross.

Kyungsoo gasped feeling something wet from the couch on his arm but he didn't want to check what was that cause he had some suspicions. He bit his lower lip seeing now only Chanyeol's chin.

-So I can finally go to sleep.

Chanyeol said with a tone like he was already in his dreams with his hand on Kyungsoo's back. The smaller lifted his body, kissing Chanyeol's cheek and then he pushed his lips to his ear.

-I would ride you now if you weren't so tired.

Kyungsoo kissed the redhead fast when he wanted to say something. They both smiled, really, really widely and the smaller let Chanyeol just fall asleep like that. With Kyungsoo on his chest and big mess under him

*

Kyungsoo couldn't sleep for a long time, he didn't want to fall asleep. He was somehow scared that if he will fall asleep the feeling of safety and happiness will leave him. He wasn't feeling like that for a long time. Even when he was with Jongin he wasn't that happy, god what is happening to him?

He wasn't thinking about the consequences, he didn't think about what they just did again, it was not important right now when he was with Chanyeol and if he wasn't sleeping now he will make sure that everything is alright and what they do is okay too. He just wanted to hear that. 

Kyungsoo was hovering above Chanyeol for maybe 20 minutes? Or even more, he lost the track of time when he was admiring how perfect Chanyeol looks just when he is sleeping. Kyungsoo's heart was melting he wanted to kiss him, but it could be a little creepy so he just snuggled to his warm chest, for the thousandth time at this night.

Finally, the sleep came and Kyungsoo was sleeping the whole night with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY again  
> i promise i'll write it better next time..


	9. Dream job

Kyungsoo wrinkled his nose when he felt something on it but he wasn't sure because he was still dreaming. Again. This time he had to scratch his nose because the feeling was getting stronger.

-Come one, wake up already.

The husky voice made him open his eyes feeling the redhead's blowing again on his nose. He closed his eyes after that and snuggle his face into Chanyeol's warm chest, he was smelling so good and he was so warm and his body was really comfortable. Kyungsoo slept on him the whole night and he could stay like that for next four hours. It seems like Chanyeol didn't feel the same because he was making everything for Kyungsoo to get up like blowing at his face, biting his ears or tickling him. 

-You are so annoying in the morning.

Kyungsoo finally got up clumsily sounding a little offended but it was just because someone told him to wake up and he really doesn't like that. Without looking at Chanyeol he went to the bathroom. He was feeling really dirty, his body was sweaty and sticky from yesterday's evening. But he still smiled when he thought about that.

When he ended taking shower - without even asking - he came back and saw Chanyeol still on the couch with almost the same position, just with a phone in hands. 

-I thought you were doing a breakfast for us. 

Kyungsoo furrowed his brows, walking out with just his shirt and briefs. Chanyeol looked up with a natural smirk. He put down his phone, rising to a sitting position. 

-I thought that you are my breakfast.

Chanyeol's smirk even bigger now. Kyungsoo just rolled his eyes but he couldn't stop his smile when he sat between Chanyeol's legs. The redhead wanted to kiss him but Kyungsoo turned his head to the right.

-You thought wrong. 

He laughed softly, just because the happiness was overfilling him. 

-Go to the bathroom and take a shower, please.

Kyungsoo grimaced his lips into something that supposed to be a smile. Chanyeol went to the bathroom after many attempts to kiss Kyungsoo but he was adamant so he disappeared with a cute pout that made Kyungsoo smile for next twenty minutes. 

It is wrong that Kyungsoo feels like he is in his own flat? He cleaned up some things, leaving the stain on the couch for Chanyeol to clean up. After that, he finally made the breakfast even if Chanyeol's fridge wasn't that full. 

Waiting for Chanyeol to come back from shower interrupted the call from Kyungsoo's phone. The person was unknown but he decided to pick it up anyway.

-Hello?

-Hello. Sorry for the early time. I just wanted to inform you that we want you to work for us in our cafe. It would be a big pleasure.

Kyungsoo almost choked on his coffee. He wiped his mouth from the butter, he was so hungry that he couldn't wait more with food for Chanyeol. 

-Are you serious?

He heard the laugh on the other side but it was really a happy laugh.

 -Yes, of course, I would like to see you tomorrow at 10 am, is that okay for you?

Kyungsoo nodded his head vigorously when Chanyeol came back from the bathroom with wet hair and with that face, Kyungsoo already knew that he was listening.

-Yes, of course, I will come. Thank you very much.

He was biting his lower lip very much, trying to hide the smile. When he hung up he started to screaming, suddenly he was full of energy.

-What.

Chanyeol just asked not impressed, looking at him like he was crazy or something. 

-I got a job! They hired me!

Kyungsoo screamed again, he was really happy because he thought that his interview was really bad. When he first walked to the cafe he already liked that place and he was feeling good with the boss so it's promising to be a good job.

-You were searching for a job?

Chanyeol was still standing still, with no reaction. Kyungsoo had to stand up and hit his arm because he was destroying his happy moment.

-Yes, I was. Can't you just be happy with me for a moment?

He furrowed his brows sitting back on the chair being offended at Chanyeol second time at this morning. Chanyeol rolled his eyes, standing behind Kyungsoo and he started to shake his body and screaming into his ear.

-Stop this. You pissed me off. 

He just mumbled under his nose, looking down at his plate. After that Chanyeol snuggled the smaller to his chest, kissing softly his cheek.

-I'm really happy for you Kyungsoo.

He softened already but didn't say anything because he didn't want for Chanyeol to stop kissing his cheek and temple. 

-I'm.

_Kiss._

-So.

_Kiss._

-Happy.

_Kiss._

-You are so responsible.

Another kiss on Kyungsoo's soft cheek this time he couldn't just not to smile or laugh. 

-Okay, okay, stop this already.

He bit his lower lip smiling like crazy, his hands now on Chanyeol's and when he felt how close they were now he let go of Chanyeol's hands. He also sat opposite to him starting to eat the breakfast that Kyungsoo made for him. 

-So, tell me about that. I'm really curious.

He started with a full mouth and Kyungsoo told him about the school, told him about the situation with Sehun and that he wanted to make his own money. Then he praised his new workplace, the boss and the atmosphere. He didn't work even the one day but he was so happy about that place. Chanyeol just answered him with a soft smile that Kyungsoo adores.

-What if they will also hire you in the second place?

-Which second?

-You told me yesterday that you were in two meetings, right?

Oh, yeah. Kyungsoo looked down thinking how he should tell Chanyeol the truth. 

-Actually, the second meeting was...I meet with Jongin.

-Oh, You two finally meet?

Kyungsoo just nodded looking down at his plate. Don't know why but he was a little scared of Chanyeol's reaction. His face was now emotionless. It's always hard for Kyungsoo to read from his face. Was he mad? Why should he be?

-He said that he just want to meet you know to talk.

He gazed up, biting his lips nervously because Chanyeol was still sitting quiet, maybe thinking about something. 

-Did you talk?

-Yeah, we did. It was a little awkward. 

-Why?

-I don't know, maybe just because I haven't seen him in a while and some things changed between us.

Kyungsoo sighed so Chanyeol did. 

-Are you coming back to him?

-What? No! No. No, I'm not. 

Wow, that's was honest. But it was true, right? Kyungsoo didn't even think about once to coming back for Jongin. After yesterday's meeting, he wasn't feeling happy because all the time he was thinking that Jongin didn't change. And that's was probably true. He felt odd. He felt like this break isn't really gonna help them. Not even thinking about what he did with Chanyeol because he started to feel bad. He looked up at Chanyeol.

-Please tell me that everything is okay.

The redhead suddenly looked up, his face expression changed and Kyungsoo could tell that. He wanted to ask something so Kyungsoo stopped him with his words.

-Please, just tell me that.

-Of course, everything is okay, Soo. 

He said warmly but still, Kyungsoo could feel the doubt in his voice. Maybe that's because he was confused or something, Chanyeol was not always too clever. He just nodded taking what he give him, even if it wasn't enough convincing. 

Kyungsoo's phone buzzed.

From: _Sehun_ , hour: 9:48 am

where are u, are u alive, are u with jongin 

He just rolled his eyes guessing that Sehun just now reminded himself that he had a friend.

-I think I should come back, Sehun is worrying.

Kyungsoo moved his empty plate, thanking him with a smile for breakfast but Chanyeol wasn't too happy for the news that Kyungsoo needs to go. He pouted again, two times in the morning, he never seen that again.

-Stop doing that. 

He laughed and then disappeared to wear his jeans and the rest of his clothes. 

-I'm glad that you came.

Chanyeol walked to the bathroom where Kyungsoo was wiping the stain on his jeans with water but it doesn't help. He laughed hopelessly.

-Yeah, I missed you.

Kyungsoo turned around with soft smile which Chanyeol gave him back. At that time Kyungsoo's phone started to calling and it was Sehun again. He decided to ignore it but he went fast to the hallway for his jacket telling him that he really need to go.

-I hope we will see again fast. Text me later.

He said in a rush, wearing his jacket then he gave Chanyeol a fast wave with a soft smile and left his flat. The redhead didn't even notice when he left. Well, that's was a little disappointing he was hoping for just a hug. He was about to close the door with keys but then Kyungsoo walked in, hands throwing at Chanyeol's neck and their lips crashed together.

-I forgot something.

He said between the hot kiss. The redhead was really surprised but right away his hands were found under Kyungsoo's thighs, lifting him up. For a few minutes, they held onto each other, kissing as if they hadn't seen each other in a week.

-I have to go.

Kyungsoo gasped in his lips when he was pressed hard against the wall, legs around Chanyeol's hips. But he didn't listen, his hand squeezed Kyungsoo's thighs and teeth slightly biting his neck making the smaller feel the shiver down his spine. Kyungsoo pulled his hair then he took his face in his hands, kissing him once again before he left hearing Chanyeol's mumbling.

*

While walking upstairs to Sehun's flat Kyungsoo was trying hard to stop his smile, he knew that his friend will ask many questions and he didn't even think about the excuse he will use because all he was thinking about was Chanyeol. Is it weird?

He walked to the flat, doors suspiciously opened, the nice smell of pancakes hit him when he entered the living room looking for someone alive in this home. 

-He's back!

Kyungsoo got surprised, really surprised when he meet Junmyeon here, in Sehun's flat, especially when he was wearing just sweatpants. Well, good that he wasn't home yesterday. Right after that Sehun walked in, his face seemed relieved.

-Kyungsoo! I  was worried about you as hell!

Sehun yelled at him but at the same time he was sounding soft and carrying just as always. He hugged him back still looking at the two in front of him with a suspect in his eyes.

-No need to worry. I am okay.

-So... You were with Jongin the whole night?

-What? No. I was with Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo looked up at Junmyeon who was listening to their conversation and he told him to wear a shirt because he is feeling a little uncomfortable. Sehun laughed at that but Kyungsoo just gave him a weird look.

-Was he sleeping here?

-What? No! No, he wasn't. He just came here because I told him that you were gone yesterday with Jongin and you still hasn't come back.. but here you are.

Kyungsoo just rolled his eyes, he didn't believe Sehun but he let it go because it was getting weird. For sure Kyungsoo caught them on making something. It was weird but he was still happy with the fact that it was all because of him and the date he made for Sehun.

-Anyway, I got a job.

Sehun was on his way to the kitchen but when he heard Kyungsoo's words he turned around with big eyes.

-Oh my god, really? They hired you in that cafe that you liked?

Kyungsoo smiled right away when he thought about that place he was so excited for tomorrow because it's gonna be his first day. He wanted to do that, he wanted to make money on his own and he wanted to be more independent.

 He sat on the couch when Sehun and Junmyeon disappeared into the kitchen and right away he could hear not so quiet giggles and laughs. He's gonna work extra hours to make for his own flat if every morning it's gonna look like that. But his morning was also good, until now. Waking up beside Chanyeol or even on Chanyeol's chest was a nice feeling, Kyungsoo could get used to it. 

He felt a little empty now like he was missing Chanyeol. Which was stupid because he was seeing him like thirty minutes ago. But he decided to text him even if he told Chanyeol to text him first. 

Maybe he will think that Kyungsoo is a creep? Chanyeol was creep by himself so that's nothing to worry. He thought.

To: _Chanyeol_ , hour: 10:38 am

Sehun's boy is walking without the t-shirt in the house. I think I'm gonna throw up. Save me from them. 

He got a text from him right away which wasn't too surprising because Chanyeol was always texting fast, god bless. 

From: _Chanyeol_ , hour: 10:39 am

don't look at him

From: _Chanyeol_ , hour: 10:39 am

come live with me then ;)

To: _Chanyeol_ , hour: 10:40 am

You are even worse than that, no thanks

From: _Chanyeol_ , hour: 10:41 am

i got different feeling yesterday ;)

Kyungsoo smiled slightly, looking around just to make sure that Sehun is not looking.

*

Finally, the first day in the job. Kyungsoo was in a great mood since he woke up. He got a morning text from Chanyeol where he wished him a good luck and it was a simple, little thing but that made Kyungsoo's heart swollen. He was still sitting in his bed, under the sheets, looking at the clock he still had two hours so he decided not to text back but just call Chanyeol.

-Thank you for your message, sadly you can't be that cute when I'm with you.

Were the first words that Kyungsoo said instead of Hello or Good morning. He smiled softly when he heard on the other side loud but husky laugh.

-Sadly you weren't that nice and happy yesterday's morning.

He teased him, just like always.

-I would be happier if you will be here with me now.

Kyungsoo lowered his voice because Sehun was behind the wall and maybe in some way, he could hear that. For sure he is gonna tell his friend about this everything. But it's still not that time. He will not know what to say if Sehun will ask about Jongin. 

For now, it's gonna be his and Chanyeol's little secret. They both agreed just now about that.

-Happy first day of your dream job _my_ secret.

Yeah, it's gonna be really a good day.

Kyungsoo was on time in the cafe. His boss was today only for one hour so he introduced Kyungsoo to the other workers. Two girls and one boy, they seemed nice too. The blond boy - Lay was a lot younger than Kyungsoo but he knew everything about the cafe and knew where everything was so he helped him a lot. He got his own apron, his own badge with his name written in blue marker, his own white shirt. Looking in the mirror he thought that he really fit in this place.

So he got to know how to make the easiest and simple dark coffee, how and in which package he should pack the cakes and cookies and now he was learning how to use the cash register. He served his first customer ever with the help from Lisa. After this all it was almost 6 pm when the bell to the door rang - it means that new customer came but when Kyungsoo saw the new customers he wanted to run. He saw the cheeky smile on Chanyeol's and Sehun's face but he decided to still act just like a worker and like they were complete strangers to him.

-Good morning, what can I help you?

Kyungso bit his bottom lip trying not to laugh when Sehun and Chanyeol understood his strategy and they also were acting like they don't know Kyungsoo. 

-Can I have a hot chocolate with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, please?

Sehun said with a soft smile which Kyungsoo gave him back, noticing his order then he looked at Chanyeol. At that moment he felt something, something weird hitting him in his face but it was a nice feeling, something also hurt him in his belly and his cheeks got pink just of one look at Chanyeol. He looked for way too long at the redhead.

-Something for you, sir?

He sounded not like himself so he cleared his throat looking away. Chanyeol was looking like always but somehow Kyungsoo reaction at him was not the same. Kyungsoo wasn't looking at him now, but he knew that Chanyeol is smirking and his knees felt a little weak.

-For me just a white americano. Please.

He finally spoke up, a smile was perceptible in his voice. He just nodded giving the order to Lisa, she started to do Sehun's chocolate when Kyungsoo was doing a coffee for Chanyeol feeling his gaze on his back. He felt someone near him and a breath next to his ear.

-This one with red hair is looking at you weirdly. I'm scared.

Lisa whispered to him which made Kyungsoo laugh. 

He packed the coffee and chocolate together and came back to the two of his customers-strangers-friends with a bag handing it to Sehun but his smile was directed to Chanyeol. 

-Here. Have a good drink.

Kyungsoo said softly with a big hope that they will leave but they just sat at the table, near him. And they stayed until the 7 pm when Kyungsoo ended his shift. 


	10. Belong to someone else

-Whose idea was for you two to come here?

Kyungsoo asked when he finally ended today's shift, walking to Chanyeol and Sehun who were still sitting and waiting for him. After all, it was nice because he hasn't to come back alone when it was already dark outside. 

-It was mine. So what?

Chanyeol said with a cheeky smile on his face. Kyungsoo wanted to hit him for looking so stupid and cute at the same time.

-You were trying to ruin my first day at the job.

-What?

Sehun asked with his brows furrowed stopping licking the ice from his cup. 

-We just wanted to support you. Why can't you just be happy?

Chanyeol also furrowed his brows, sounding as always teasing and cheeky but Kyungsoo could hear a little offense too. 

-I am happy. Can't you see that?

Kyungsoo pointed at his face then just rolled his eyes waiting for the two of his friends to stand up because he was tired. Maybe the 8 hours here weren't that tiring mentally but his legs hurt a little and he wanted to just curl up under the blanket and get the rest he deserved. 

-You sound like you didn't like this job.

Sehun said softly, putting his arm around Kyungsoo's shoulder to keep him warm because he wasn't wearing his winter jacket and now it was colder. The smaller snuggled next to his side but his other hand was softly brushing against Chanyeol's warm hand. 

-I'm sorry. I really liked it. I just got stressed when you two came.

-Why.

Chanyeol asked at that time his finger slide between Kyungsoo's fingers, he tightened his fingers around his finger and smiled softly under his nose.

-Cause the other workers were watching me. I'm just in a trial. 

-Sorry.

Sehun added and Kyungsoo just nodded.

-But anyway thanks for coming. I know I can count on you.

Kyungsoo didn't even notice this but he was getting happier. He went straight on. He didn't remember the last time when he was crying because of Jongin. Many things were still complicated but he avoided to think about them. He just didn't want to think about anything other when right now he was laying on his friend chest and his another friend was between his legs. They were laying on the couch like this since they came back from Kyungsoo's work and he thought that he doesn't need anything more to be happy.

 -Am I gonna see you less often now?

Chanyeol asked quietly into Kyungsoo's ear, almost whispering because he could hear Sehun's snoring and he was really close to him. The smaller was again laying on Chanyeol, he really liked it.

-Maybe. I need to work a lot of hours to make more money. I need it.

Kyungsoo turned around aside to see just a little of Chanyeol's face, his lips close to his ear now so he also could whisper, hands stroking the fabric on his chest.

-I don't want you to be overworked.

-Me neither. But I'm so lazy.

He smiled softly, leaning his cheek on Chanyeol's shoulder. They became quiet again, just listening to Sehun's snoring and their own slow breathes. Kyungsoo's foot was moving on Chanyeol's leg from up to down.

-I really liked that place. I think the people are nice and I can learn all those things. It's gonna be alright.

Kyungsoo whispered softly looking at the tv in front of him but he didn't even know what was playing because his mind was far away from here. He thought about the whole day as the amount of happiness hit him right now. It could be like that every day. He could work his ass off and he could spend his evening with Chanyeol and Sehun.

But still. It wasn't full happiness because at the very end of his head there was still Jongin. Not the feeling that Kyungsoo was feeling always like _I need Jongin so much_ , but the feeling like Jongin is still here and somehow Kyungsoo wanted him to leave his head. He was realizing now that he don't need Jongin anymore. At some point, he thought that he is better without him.

He looked up seeing that Chanyeol's eyes were closed. He used this moment to lean on him leaving a delicate kiss on his lips. The redhead smiled softly opening his eyes and he met with Kyungsoo's gaze. 

-I love when you are kissing me.

Chanyeol gasped into his lips, closing his eyes again and Kyungsoo kissed him again, starting with his tongue which entered the redhead's lips, licking softly his palate making the kiss hot but slow. 

-You two aren't sleeping still?

Kyungsoo froze with his tongue on Chanyeol's teeth when he heard Sehun's husky voice. Chanyeol's eyes wide open looking at Kyungsoo, he gulped.

-Yeah. We were just whispering so you won't wake up.

Chanyeol said, trying to sound as natural as possibly, still looking at Kyungsoo who was biting his lower lip really hard begging god in his mind that Sehun could believe that. And he was maybe that stupid or just still sleeping because he just nodded and went straight to his bedroom wishing the two of them sweet dreams. When he closed the door Chanyeol started laughing and Kyungsoo hit him in his head. His cheeks were really red now and heart was pumping like crazy.

-I will never again kiss you in this house.

-But-

-No, oh my god. I almost got a heart attack.

Kyungsoo gulped loud he reacted almost like if could be Jongin. No. If Jongin would know he will probably die but fuck, right now he is gonna be more exact to hide _his_ secret.

-Are you.. are we gonna tell him ever about that?

The redhead asked, his tone lower now hands on the smaller hips. He took them away but Chanyeol just laughed grabbing him even tighter. 

-Yeah.. some day. For sure. 

Kyungsoo nodded, looking down because Chanyeol's face was like always annoying in these situation's and Kyungsoo couldn't focus.

-What do you mean by that?

He asked seriously, gazing up at Chanyeol. He knew what _that_ means but he wanted to know what _that_ exactly means for Chanyeol.

-I mean you and me.

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, he didn't expect an answer like that.

-And?

-Our secret.

-Is it fun to keep it in a secret?

Chanyeol shrugged his arms, his hands now on Kyungsoo's thigh but he was trying not to look at it.

-Yes and no. I have a little fun. But..

Chanyeol's tone was now lowered, he glanced up and their eyes met then he added.

-I want you to myself.

His hands tightened on his thighs watching Kyungsoo's expression. He was trying not to show it on his face but his heart was now on fire, his body was on fire. He wanted to hear that again and again.

-But.

The smaller stopped when Chanyeol got him onto his lap, both hands on Kyungsoo's thighs and his hot breath on his neck. He shuddered when they chests were now clenched together.

-Somehow I still belong to someone else.

Kyungsoo said quietly and really not sure about this, Chanyeol could feel that too because he smirked, breaking the small kiss on his pulse. 

-Are you? So why you are now with me and not with him?

He gazed up looking at Kyungsoo whose eyes were squeezed now after that Chanyeol's hands were massaging his thighs softly. 

-Because I want you.

He whispered so quietly that Chanyeol almost could miss that. 

-Yeah?

He pulled him close again, kissing his jawline while one hand fumbled with the buttons on his pants.

-Said that again.

Chanyeol asked into his smooth skin, both hands now putting down his pants Kyungsoo just lifted his hips to help him a little, not opening his eyes. He was standing on his knees, both legs between Chanyeol's legs when he lifted his shirt and kissed slowly his warm belly.

-I want to be yours too. Just yours.

His voice sounded all shakily when Chanyeol's fingers - always warm - now just a little cold touched Kyungsoo's bare thighs. Fingers slide under his briefs, looking up at Kyungsoo's face. His expression was soft, Chanyeol could feel that Kyungsoo is relaxed and he had nothing against this. So now he kissed his hip bone pulling his briefs down to his ankles, he couldn't stop looking. He was studying how his lips are opening slowly to let out a quick breath even when Chanyeol didn't do anything. He brought him back to the present when he whined softly, pulling his hand in his hair.

-Chanyeol, to-touch me, do something.

And he did. He laid Kyungsoo on his back, spread out below him like an offering. He lifted his hand, palming at Kyungsoo's hard cock, making him close his eyes again and moan softly. Chanyeol's hand already on his mouth, bending over him.

-Shh, baby, you gotta be quiet. Okay?

Chanyeol lifted his brows, Kyungsoo just nodded then he took his hand away and he stole the breath from his lungs in a short heated kiss. He knew that Kyungsoo anyway will be loud, he was so sensitive and needy at every touch that he decided to put his index finger on his plump lips when his hand came back to his erection, thick and leaking. Chanyeol had a hard time not looking at this but Kyungsoo's face, changing upon the pleasure was better than anything.

-My good boy. Stay quiet like this.

Chanyeol kissed his lips when he took his finger away, leaning now down, tongue out to give the tip of his cock a tentative lick. He looked up with a smirk seeing how Kyungsoo's bit his lower lip, his mouth wrapped around his head, sucking slowly at the wet tip. His tongue twisting at the split. Kyungsoo whined deep in his throat, pressing his head back against the soft pillows and closing his eyes, promise, he never felt so good like that with Chanyeol's lips around his dick.

-Chanyeol.

He whimpered but fast closed his lips when he met Chanyeol's hard gaze, licking up his length. He was taking him deeper now, tongue pressing agains the pulsing veins licking it so hungrily. Kyungsoo was moving his hips impatiently, it was really hard for him to keep it in silent but in reward, he got Chanyeol's head and lips moving really fast on his length, tongue pressing against his underside of his dick. 

He couldn't get this feeling and he moaned loud enough so Chanyeol heard it. He looked up, his eyes were dark when he came up to him, the mouth that had been around his cock just seconds prior now pressed again his lips in a lazy kiss. Kyungsoo could taste himself, it only made him feel hotter.

-Chanyeol, _please_. I'm so close.

He whined into Chanyeol's lips, almost feeling like he was crying from the pleasure. God, he needed him, he wanted him. He couldn't just hang over him when the smaller was so needy, shaking his whole body when Chanyeol's hand touched his chest. 

-You weren't quiet like I asked you to be.

He just teased, feeling his cock stirring, straining against the fabric of his pants, precum staining the inside of his boxers. He should congratulate himself later for being so patient and possessed especially when Kyungsoo was looking just like a mess, the most beautiful and hot mess. He could look at him forever like that.

-I'm sorry Chanyeol, please, I will be good. 

He couldn't hold him more so he took off his own shirt cause it was just too hot. Chanyeol smirked, sitting between Kyungsoo's things, taking his jeans finally off feeling a little relief. 

-Alright.

He said softly, making Kyungsoo open his legs even wider now. His hands caressing his thighs then knees and ankles when he got his legs on his shoulders and kissed slowly his ankle.

-Show me how much you want me, baby.

Chanyeol said softly seeing the sweat on Kyungsoo's head, he was so impatient and needy, he couldn't tease him more. The smaller sucked on his two fingers, licking them in so dirty way, Chanyeol's cock shivered hard on this scene. Kyungsoo lifted his hips, hand disappearing between his legs. The redhead watched with rapt attention as Kyungsoo's face changed again into a soft grimace, soft moan slipping out from his lips when his two fingers pressed into his entrance. 

Kyungsoo's eyes rolled back when his wrist was moving fast making his two fingers go deeper, breathless whiny sounds falling from his lips but Chanyeol didn't care about that now. He was watching the most beautiful and obscene thing in his life. If he had less self-control, he would have come just now, untouched. 

-One more finger baby.

Kyungsoo did what Chanyeol's told him to do, pushing another finger into his tight hole, mouth parted with soft whines as he was fucking himself open with his three fingers. He got a little too far with his breaths now really fast and unstable so Chanyeol had him to stop, kissing his wet fingers. Chanyeol hissed when he felt Kyungsoo's hand on his cock, taking him from his boxers. He leaned over the smaller, his lips pressing to his ear, smiling softly.

-Condom baby, we need it.

Kyungsoo just shook his head looking with a pout at Chanyeol.

-I don't know if Sehun even has them.

They were exchanging their gazes, both knew what they were thinking. Kyungsoo felt Chanyeol's hand on his cheek, caressing it.

-We don't need it. Please just do it.

Kyungsoo was nodding his head with his sweaty bangs until Chanyeol laughed softly and kissed him.

-Are you sure?

-Yes, fuck yes I am.

Their eyes met once again and stayed locked as Chanyeol grabbed his length and slowly guided it to his entrance and sank down on it, the tip disappearing into Kyungsoo's tight hole, swallowing his length up. Kyungsoo's legs locked around Chanyeol's hips when he was fully buried inside him. 

The smaller closed his eyes, tightening his grip on Chanyeol's hips but the redhead was still looking at his expression to see if everything is okay. And when the wrinkles on Kyungsoo's forehead disappeared he thrust his hips. 

He started slowly, feeling how Kyungsoo's walls wrapped around him tightly, and he wanted to move faster but he was still so tight so he waited, his hands caressing his legs when Kyungsoo parted his lips and lifted his hips before sinking down again, it was so delight that they both moaned quietly. 

Chanyeol started his own pace, thrusting into Kyungsoo. At the beginning it was slow but Kyungsoo wanted more and more and Chanyeol wanted faster and faster and it's all wasn't enough. His legs were now again on his shoulders, ass lifted up so he could thrust into him even more with Kyungsoo whimpering and whining bawdy. 

They change the position again. Kyungsoo on his chest, with face between the pillows when he couldn't just stop the moans since they both were getting closer to their climax. Chanyeol's hands were pushing Kyungsoo into the mattress pounding into his ass with a fast pace as the smaller was holding his butt cheeks wide open for him.

The living room was full of moans, curses, and sound of skin slapping skin. Kyungsoo's thighs were trembling when Chanyeol thrust into him fast and hard, feeling the pressure building, they both were so close. He found Kyungsoo's prostate so he kept up the pace making sure that he was hitting it until they both came, the sticky white sperm was coating at his stomach and Chanyeol came, with his dick still buried deep inside Kyungsoo.

After a moment Chanyeol lifted himself up just to fall back onto his back at the other side of the couch. Kyungsoo mumbled softly when he lost the weight on his back. He lifted up too, with his eyes closed and he found Chanyeol just to lay on his chest.

They were laying in the silence for a while when Kyungoo finally opened his eyes and got up making Chanyeol open his eyes too.

-I have to go to my room.

He looked down at the redhead with a soft smile. He just shook his head, holding the smaller hands as leant down to kiss him, he returned kiss passionately, and when he pulled head back, he gazed up at him with a soft smile. Chanyeol's hand wiped sweat from Kyngsoo's temple.

-Don't go. The night is young.

Kyungsoo laughed, looking at the clock. It was 3 am and he was going to his job at 9 am. 

-The night is almost over. I have to go. Sleep tight.

He kissed him again, softly, standing on his shaky legs, he got all his clothes and run fast to his room when he heard that Chanyeol is getting up. He knocked on his door and Kyungsoo just rolled his eyes, leaning his head from the doors.

-What?

-One more kiss.

Kyungsoo laughed again, shaking his head and he closed the doors. He heard that Chanyeol went away from his doors so he wiped his sweaty face in a shirt, wearing pajama and with no more energy he got into his bed. Even if Chanyeol wasn't with him in his bed he was smiling all the time.

And Chanyeol was too, sleeping on the couch.


	11. Feeling nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don;t like this chapter. it was hard to write that messy so sorry

The loud and annoying sound of his phone woke Kyungsoo up. With closed eyes, he searched for his phone on the night table and when he find it he pressed some button curling against his sheets again. He could feel like he is falling asleep but after a while, the same sound was ringing. Suddenly he rose up because he reminded himself that he has a job in two hours so he can't sleep more. 

Sitting at the corner of his bed he felt pain in his back which made him groan a little, the pain continues to hurt even more when he stood up. _Ugh_. Was all that he said when he looked at the mirror and he was looking like seven woes. Because of Chanyeol Kyungsoo is gonna to look and feel like shit in his second day of work.

He thought that he was a little mad at him for a while. But his madness disappeared when he went out from his room and he saw a sleepy Chanyeol, lying down without his shirt on the couch with only the blanket who was covering his lower body. Kyungsoo pulled the blanket under his chin and smiled softly hearing how quietly he was snoring. 

When Kyungsoo was taking a shower he found a hickey on his neck, his cheeks got all red when he touched it. But he knew that he have to cover it up with something. There was nothing but a piece of plaster which he stuck on the hickey. Yeah, really invisible.

Kyungsoo entered the kitchen being all ready for his day at the job. He had also still some time so he decided that he will eat breakfast in the house but anyway Kyungsoo was still in a rush. He wanted to be on time at his work and the pan was still cold. He almost dropped the pan when he felt hands on his hips, the same hands now were sliding under his shirt, placing them on his stomach. Then he felt hot breath on his neck and a large body pressing against his back.

-Good morning.

He whispered with husky voice into his ear, kissing it slowly. Kyungsoo felt a shiver when the hot breath attacked his skin and hands were now squeezing his stomach and hips. He cocked his head to the side where Chanyeol's lips were now kissing his neck. He didn't want another hickey to hide. 

-Stop this.

He mumbled giggling trying to ignore Chanyeol continuing to mix his eggs with milk together. 

-Why should I stop?

He asked teasingly, his lower body pressing hard to Kyungsoo's butt, hands moving down from his stomach to his belt. He was trying to keep it cool, knowing that Chanyeol is just teasing but when he opened his belt Kyungsoo freed up from his tight grip, furrowing his brows.

-Because I have a job in a moment and I don't want to be late because of you.

Chanyeol just smirked when he watched how Kyungsoo made up his belt and pulls his shirt down.

-You won't be late. 

-I know because you won't do anything.

He turned around facing the cooker and he continued to do his breakfast. Again big hands grabbed his hips.

-Why are you always so innocent and rude for me during the day?

Chanyeol leant his chin on Kyungsoo's shoulder, pouting. He couldn't see that but he knew that he is doing that. 

-I'm not. Work is just important to me.

He answered turning off the cooker and he grabbed the plate from the cupboard with big growth on his back who was moving with him.

-And I'm not?

Chanyeol asked sounding serious. Kyungsoo sighed, leaving the plate on the table when he turned around to face the elder. He had now war flashbacks when he heard work and important in one sentence. But it wasn't like this, right? 

-You are too.

Kyungsoo said softly but his face expression didn't change, he was serious and he was searching for something on Chanyeol's face did that really hurt him or he was just acting like always just to win his rights. The smaller stood on his feet to kiss him. Passionately and long. It became more natural for him, it felt like Chanyeol was the only person he wanted to kiss. It really did because when he was kissing him he was feeling like everything around disappears and the butterflies he was feeling all the time in his stomach are gonna fly out from his mouth. 

Chanyeol made the kiss a little longer that left Kyungsoo short of breath and when his hands were now again on him Kyungsoo pushed him away, biting his lips with a soft smile which Chanyeol returned. 

-Can I eat?

Kyungsoo asked, taking his plate in hands and raised his brows. He sat on the worktop eating his breakfast in a hurry.

-What about me?

Chanyeol came closer and Kyungsoo just rolled his eyes giving a piece of egg into the taller mouth. He ate that with relish, licking his lips.

-I was hoping that I could eat you.

-Oh my god, stop with these lame words. It's not working on me.

Kyungsoo snorted eating with Chanyeol his breakfast until his plate was empty. Even with Chanyeol's stupid smile and stupid way to make a pass at him, Kyungsoo still couldn't stop smiling. His heart was swollen from the good emotions that he was feeling all the time when he was with Chanyeol. He moved his empty plate away, wrapping his hands around Chanyeol's neck and he kissed him messily, he was tasting like eggs. When he pulled away he looked at his shiny eyes for a long time and sighed in a relief.

-I lo-

Kyungsoo choked on his saliva when he realised what he just wanted to say. Chanyeol raised his brows looking at Kyungsoo's big eyes, bigger than always now. 

-I have to go.

He said quietly, sliding off the worktop going fast to the hallway. Kyungsoo wore his jacket and just waved to the Chanyeol leaving him a little confused. When he left, he leant his back on the door, sighing deeply.

Why did he just think about saying that. 

Why did he just almost said that. 

What the fuck. 

*

Kyungsoo came to his job too early, having time to talk with Lay and get to know him better. His mind was still confused but unfortunately he got a call from fucking great time chooser Jongin, actually, it was _My Jongin_ on his phone and Kyungsoo noted on his mind that it would be better if he could change it.

-Hello?

-Oh, Hello. I didn't expect that you will pick up at that time.

Familiar voice. But Kyungsoo felt nothing when he heard it.

-So why are you calling when you thought that?

Kyungsoo asked sounding maybe a little too rude but he was just still taken aback. It was different talking with Jongin since last time. It was just a few days but many things have changed. He got a job. He kissed Chanyeol, more than once.  Maybe he was feeling more comfortable without Jongin. Maybe it would be better if Jongin wouldn't call.

-I just thought that our last meeting was nice... so maybe you wanna hang out again?

Kyungsoo sighed, not answering for way too long time that made Jongin ask if Kyungsoo is still there. He just nodded, biting his lower lip.

-Actually, I'm a little busy lately.

He finally made it, now Jongin was quiet for a little too long. 

-I didn't say when.

-I know, but I'm working every day now.. so yeah.

-You had a job?

He asked, Kyungsoo could hear in his tone happiness and he could feel that Jongin is now smiling. 

-Yep. I think it's the right time to be more independent.

-That's great! Where are you working?

God damn it, he really wanted to skip that question. It would be better if he could keep it as a secret from Jongin. Well, he had a lot of secrets now.

-At cafe.

He answered simply, begging in his head that he won't ask any other questions about his job. But Jongin is Jongin.

-Oh, cool, I think that suits you. Which one?

Ugh.

-It's a new one. You will probably don't know.

Can't he just let it go? Kyungsoo was so obvious but Jongin was still sounding so happy and he wanted really to meet and know where he is working so he finally told him the address with a big sigh.

It felt like the roles are reversed. Isn't it funny? Did Kyungsoo was always naive like that?

 -So.. can I come and visit you? I want a coffee from your hands.

Was he trying to flirt?a Kyungsoo felt bad a little because he couldn't return this, he wasn't even happy. He didn't feel anything. He didn't feel the butterflies. He didn't feel stress now. He didn't miss him. He felt bad for not feeling anything. 

After their meeting, he was just thinking about Jongin as the person who was selfish and didn't care about Kyungsoo. Yeah, he wanted his change but his heart was telling him that he didn't change, his behaviour was now temporary. 

His heart was also telling him a lot about Chanyeol.

He didn't have to wait for too long because he started his job at 9 am and Jongin was already here at 1 pm. He was smiling so hard, his eyes were shining, Kyungsoo could see that as he walked into the cafe. 

-Hello.

He said first, leaning into the table. He was wearing a suit so Kyungsoo could tell that he take just a break from his work. To be honest, Jongin was looking fine, so fine, better than always. Kyungsoo had to look away because he was looking for too long.

-Good morning. What can I help you?

He said his formula which he has to say to every customer, Jongin laughed softly at that but Kyungsoo didn't move, he was just treating him like every other customer.

-You look so cute in that apron.

Jongin giggled and Kyungsoo didn't remember when was the last time when he saw him like that. He just smiled at him, waiting for his order but Jongin didn't even look at the menu, he was looking at Kyungsoo keep telling him that he suits this place and that he looks good. 

-Can you order something first?

Kyungsoo finally asked looking at the next person who was behind Jongin. He also saw that so he ordered a white cappuccino and sat next to the cash desk. Kyungsoo didn't feel nervous like he felt when Chanyeol was here, at the same chair, looking at him. 

He made for him his cappuccino and with the cup, he went to his table.

-Will you sit with me for a while?

Kyungsoo looked around seeing that Lisa is serving other customers so he just nodded not too sure, sitting opposite to the Jongin. 

-So.. how are you Soo?

Jongin took a sip of his coffee licking his lips and looking straight into Kyungsoo's eyes. Well, what was that? Kyungsoo just furrowed his brows looking at him. You wanna know how I am? I'm really well, like really. I'm doing really well, I guess. I understood that I don't need you to do something. I can do everything by myself. Kyungsoo just forced a big smile. That's how he is.

-I'm good, thanks for asking.

He finally said that, seeing that Jongin's hands are keep getting closer to his. Their fingers almost touched so Kyungsoo took off his hands from the table, hiding them in his pockets. Jongin took another sip of coffee, cleaning his throat. Even when he saw Kyungsoo's gesture he smiled softly.

-I'm not surprised that you have a lot of customers. I think I will come here more often. 

Kyungsoo furrowed his brows and Jongin changed his expression now.

 -Actually I...

He stopped, seeming nervous now. His confidence got lost in 0.5 seconds and now he was just a bundle of nerves playing with his fingers when he finally continued.

-Can our break end already?

Jongin finally asked, squeezing his hands for Kyungsoo it looked painful. But he lowered his head down looking at his own hands. Should he tell him that or no? He took a big gulp of air feeling Jongin's gaze on himself. 

-I want...

This time Kyungsoo stopped gathering strength and confidence to say what is on his mind right now. 

-I want it to end too.

Kyungsoo says with no emotions on his face, he could feel that Jongin sighed in relief. He let himself looked up at him, he was smiling. They gaze meet and Jongin wanted to grab Kyungsoo's hand but he take her off really fast.

-But... but I think that it would be better if we broke up. 

He finally said that but he wasn't feeling that much relief because Jongin's reaction hurt him a little. Jongin laughed shortly but when he saw that Kyungsoo was still serious he stopped furrowing his brows.

-Kyungsoo what are you talking about.

Jongin was searching for any sign on Kyungsoo's face that will tell him that he is joking, but it was Kyungsoo and he will never joke in a situation like this.

-B-but why. 

Jongin choked on his saliva.

-You promised that we will be together after that.

His voice was cracking and Kyungsoo's heart started to hurt. He didn't know that he will react like that. Maybe he shouldn't have said that. He wanted to cheer him up or something like that but he didn't know how. 

It wasn't similar to Kyungsoo. He never thought about hurting Jongin, even if Jongin hurt him first. He was too weak for that, he couldn't stand seeing someone like that.

There was a long time of silence, they both were looking at the floor. Kyungsoo couldn't look up. 

-Kyungsoo please don't say that. I know that you don't want it. I promise I will show you that I've changed. 

Jongin stood up then fell on his knees in front of Kyungsoo. He rose up right away telling him to stand up because people were looking at them weirdly.

-Kyungsoo, please.

Kyungsoo bit his lips feeling Jongin's hands on his thighs, he was hugging him tightly. He panicked, his heart was hurting so much when he saw Jongin like that. 

-Jongin please just stand up.

He begged quietly. Finally, Jongin stood up looking so hurt. Just like the last time when Kyungsoo told him that he wants a break. Somehow it made Kyungsoo think that Jongin still loves him and that he cares. But Kyungsoo's heart was already somewhere else. How could he say that to him?

-I have to go back to work. We will talk later.

He said quietly looking at Jongin's glassy eyes. He was crying and Kyungsoo knew that was all because of him. He couldn't reminder himself now how many times he was crying because of Jongin. But he didn't say anything.

-Okay? Please, go now.

Kyungsoo bit his lips and then he went to the backroom trying not to look away neither on Lay or Lisa. 

*

At the end of his shift, Sehun came with Junmyeon. He smiled at them weakly pretending that this day was okay but when he took off his work clothes and sit next to Junmyeon he laid his head on the table and sighed really hard.

-Wow. Hard day at work?

Junmyeon asked sounding so happy that Kyungsoo could just hit him or tell him to shut up. That was his mood. 

Should he be angry at himself? He told him what he wanted to say, but still some parts in him were weak for Jongin. It was normal - he guessed. Jongin was important for him, really, he knew him since always. But maybe he finally understood that their relationship was so fucking sick and tiring. He didn't want to go back to that even if Jongin is gonna beg him on his knees. Not this time.

 Kyungsoo finally rose his head up and looked at Sehun.

-Jongin was here. 

Junmyeon's head also went up now looking at Kyungsoo then at Sehun. They exchange their gazes, Kyungsoo could feel that they are talking without speaking, something was in the air. 

-For what?

Sehun asked after a long and weird silence. Kyungsoo furrowed his brows looking at him then at Junmyeon.

-He just wanted to meet and talk.

They both nodded being weirdly quiet now. 

-So did you talk?

Junmyeon asked this time sounding different than a few moments ago. Kyungsoo just nodded playing with strings from his blouse. 

-We did. I told him that I want to break up with him.

He was looking all the time at his fingers but he could already tell that they both were now shocked. 

-What did you say?

Sehun asked first, placing his fingers on Kyungsoo's chin making him look at him but his face was all calm and it could seem that everything was alright for him. He didn't know about that. Kyungsoo needed to talk with Chanyeol about that. Just because. He felt the need to. 

-You never told me that you want to break up with him.

-But you told me. Too many times. So I finally made that... Well, not completely because he didn't want to.. and he was crying and yeah.

He sighed hard just when he imaged Jongin's face. Maybe Jongin change, maybe it was just temporary because of the break but Kyungsoo had wounds and he finally decided. 

He was really getting more independent.

Kyungsoo looked down again when Sehun and Junmyeon were exchanging their gazes probably trying to understand Kyungsoo or try to figure out what in the hell happened that he made that decision. When Junmyeon wanted to say something Sehun interrupted him and say that they should go. 

*

-Wow, your house it's really like a hotel. First Chanyeol now Junmyeon is gonna sleep with us.

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes when he sat up under his sheets, hugging it firmly. He didn't even say a word about that Sehun and Junmyeon are gonna sleep together. He just wanted them to give him a peace of mind. It was a harsh day. He almost broke up with his boyfriend and almost told his best friend that he love him. 

To: _Chanyeol_ , hour: 11:56 pm

Sorry, busy day at work.

After a while, Chanyeol's number appeared on his screen and he pressed a green button with a soft smile. 

-Hello, busy bee.

Kyungsoo laughed already, after this long and fucked up day all that could make him happy was Chanyeol's deep voice saying stupid and cute things. He bit his lips trying to hide his big smile because Sehun was still walking around the house.

-How's the day?

-Better don't ask.

Kyungsoo sighed heavily. It was too late to talk again about the situation with Jongin, of course, he will talk with Chanyeol about that. Just not now. He yawned when Chanyeol asked like three times what happened.

-Long story. I will tell you later, okay?

He didn't wait for Chanyeol's response, he just curled his legs to his chest continuing.

-I don't want you to be my secret anymore. I want to be with you now. 

He said softly, pouting to himself. At that time like that his growing feelings, still unknown, were in his chest making him feel nervous but at the same time he felt something weird, something more stronger than those butterflies.

-It's so late and school is tomorrow-

-And my work it's tomorrow.

Kyungsoo interrupted him.

-Yeah, so just let's go to sleep.

He also yawned and he couldn't be mad at him because he was hella tired. The conversation was short and about nothing but Kyungsoo just heard his voice and he was feeling a little better now knowing that he had Chanyeol. He could hear that Chanyeol is also getting into his bed, doing something before he finally came back to the phone and Kyungsoo was half in the other world sleeping.

-I hope I can see you soon.

Kyungsoo could hear some mumble at the other side. His eyes were now closed, they hurt him so bad. 

-Mhmm, I love you. 

Then his phone slip off from his hands and Kyungsoo fully fall asleep. 

 

 


	12. Bad timing

Days were passing and because of the work and school Kyungsoo and Chanyeol weren't able to see each other. It was a whole week since he saw the redhead last time. And a whole week since he said that he _loves_ Chanyeol. Only if he heard that good because Kyungsoo never spoke about that again. Maybe there wasn't just good time for that. Their conversations were short because Kyungsoo was always yawning and Chanyeol was always the one who was hanging up because he wanted Kyungoo to sleep more and get enough of rest. 

Not seeing each other was livable until they could find some time in the very late evening making sure that they both are okay.

Whenever they wanted to meet something was always against them. When Kyungsoo had a free day Chanyeol had a hard exam. When Chanyeol had a free day Kyungsoo had work and then he slept for the rest of the day. It goes like that. It's a little bit tiring, especially when almost everyday Kyungsoo had a special guest named Jongin who tries his best to show Kyungsoo that he is a better person now. It was too hard for him to understand that it's already over. He tries so hard right now, but it's just too late for Kyungsoo. 

What should he say if _I don't think we should be together_ is not enough?

Another day at the job, 3 pm and the bell rang. Kyungsoo already knew who came, he doesn't need to look up. Everyday Jongin was wearing a different suit, all of them looked really expensive. He always thought that Jongin is hot and handsome but after all, he had with Jongin he knows that appearance it's not so important for him. 

-Good afternoon.

He said with a soft smirk, Jongin finally got that when he comes here he comes to Kyungsoo - not his boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend, he comes here just to the coffee acting like they are strangers. But after that scene, no one believes them that they don't know each other. 

After all, Kyungsoo knew what is his point of coming here. He is good at games. 

-Don't you have enough?

Kyungsoo asked quietly when he came to Jongin's table, holding his hot coffee, every day different one.

-Enough of what?

-Enough of this acting. Of this game. I told you that I don't want to be with you no more. Can't you just accept that?

Kyungsoo leant forward at the table, pretending that he is cleaning something but his eyes were locked on Jongin's bright eyes, they were shining with happiness or something else, Kyungsoo couldn't tell but it didn't look pleasant. 

-I'm not acting. I just want to see you. 

He bit his lower lips looking at Kyungsoo's hand then at his shoulders, lips and finally eyes. Yeah, he was definitively playing something. It was still the same Jongin.

-I want you to come back to me, to our home. 

Jongin also lowered his tone, but Kyungsoo didn't want to listen to it,  so he just left him going to the backroom. The work he really liked was now like a prison for him, he wishes that he could give some poster on the cafe like the _prohibition of admission for blond guys in suits_.

-That weird guy is here again.

Lisa whispered to Kyungsoo's ear and when he heard it he got up really fast to see if that weird guy is _his_ super weird guy. His smile was now covering his whole face, forgetting about the black cloud that was above his head all day, maybe a week.

-Hello busy bee with a cute apron.

He greeted him, sounding as always loud and somehow annoying (but not for Kyungsoo) but Kyungsoo felt so good when he saw him, feeling like all the bad feelings disappeared. He was hearing his voice all the time but it was much better with his stupid smile that Kyungsoo adores so much.

-Gosh, you're here!

He forgot about the formula he was telling to every customer when he hugged Chanyeol. It wasn't enough, they hugged really shortly because Kyungsoo was sober-minded remembering that they are still at his workplace and at the end of his head there was Jongin who probably saw that.

-Yeah, I cut my class off just so I can see you.

Chanyeol said, with a soft smile when Kyungsoo got back behind the counter. He came closer to the counter, leaning on his elbows. It was maybe because of a long time but Kyungsoo couldn't look away from the redhead, his face was shining because of the bright smile which was reserved just for him.

-Don't cut your classes or you will end like me.

He laughed softly, leaning forward to be a little closer to Chanyeol. It wasn't too close, but still, he would never get that close to the customer. His heart was racing hard in his chest, he almost forgot this feeling, the feeling of just pure happiness because you are with someone that cares about you and someone who cut his classes to just see him. Kyungsoo always appreciates the small things, maybe for Chanyeol it wasn't that big deal but that made him fall in love with Chanyeol a little more. A lot more. 

-Even if I will end my school I will probably end like you.

And that will be enough for him but his eyes wandered to the table in the corner because he was feeling the third person's gaze on himself. Of course, Jongin was looking at them and probably his ear was hurting from trying to hear anything. At that moment Kyungsoo rose up from his position.

-I think I can't stay like this all the time. 

Chanyeol nodded also rising up but still smiling.

-Actually, I was gonna ask..

-Excuse me, how much longer I'm gonna wait?

They both looked at the person who was now standing behind Chanyeol and Kyungsoo didn't even know who he got here so fast. Chanyeol just moved politely to the side when Jongin now was standing in front of Kyungsoo. He panicked a little. It was weird because Chanyeol and Jongin just met but they didn't even know about that. 

-Can I help you with something?

Jongin just nodded, looking for a long time at the menu. The atmosphere got a little awkward, maybe Kyungsoo was just feeling this. Finally, he ordered second coffee which was different because he was always drinking one than leaving for his job. When Kyungsoo was doing the coffee for the customer Chanyeol stood up now a little closer to Jongin, leaning again on the counter.

-I was thinking maybe we could go somewhere? Tonight? After your work?

He asked, of course, loud, but even if he was whispering Jongin's red ear could definitely heard it. The blonde looked at Chanyeol and Kyungsoo in a rush finished the coffee handing it to Jongin. 

-Have a good drink.

He said calmly with a soft smile waiting for Jongin to finally leave on his table when he did it Kyungsoo looked at the watch at the wall then he looked at Chanyeol who was just begging him with his gaze that he would say yes.

-Come for me after two hours, okay?

He asked quietly so no one could hear that, he smiled when he saw Chanyeol's bigger smile but he stepped away when the redhead wanted to kiss his cheek. 

-Stop this. I'm at work.

He clenched his mouth looking around, Chanyeol did the same and he just laughs softly. Kyungsoo finally made that and he forced him to leave even when he didn't want this too. But he will see him in two hours, without the customers, especially the blonde one. Maybe.

After a while, Jongin is again opposite to Kyungsoo with an empty cup.

-You didn't have to bring this here.

Kyungsoo said taking the cup from him, Jongin just nodded.

-So, who was that guy?

Kyungsoo looked up from the cash register at Jongin, he was looking serious right now. Of course, he has to ask.

-He is my friend.

-Why didn't I know him?

-You didn't have the occasion to meet him.

The silence was getting a little longer when Kyungsoo asked if Jongin wants something else to drink or eat he just shook his head looking around, his fingers tapping on the table.

-So.. are you free tonight?

Kyungsoo wanted to laugh, couldn't he be more obvious that he was eavesdropping? 

-No, I'm not.

-Then maybe tomorrow?

Kyungsoo sighed heavily tapping the price into the cash register.

-It's gonna be 20 dollars, please.

Jongin just took off his wallet from his pocket but before he could open it he leant forward.

-Please Kyungsoo, just give me a chance.

-20 dollars, please.

Kyungsoo was avoiding eye contact but after that, he got money from Jongin who was still here after taking the receipt. 

-I'm begging you Kyungsoo. 

He sounded so desperate it didn't work on Kyungsoo. At the same time, the bell rang and Chanyeol came to the cafe with the excuse that he wanted to buy something but he just wanted to be with Kyungsoo again. He furrowed his brows seeing that Kyungsoo it's just standing behind the cash register and the blond boy opposite him was begging him for something.

-Umm.. Kyungsoo? Is something happening? 

He asked not too sure about this situation. Both Kyungsoo and Jongin looking at him right now. His biggest worry just got come true. 

-Uh.. - shakily sigh - Chanyeol this is Jongin. Jongin this is Chanyeol.

He just scratched his neck when Jongin gave his hand into Chanyeol's direction but the redhead didn't move, he was just looking at him and Kyungsoo was wondering what could he be thinking right now. It has to be something... tough because his face expression was changing really fast and from surprised to confused now he was angry.

-How dare you to come here? 

He finally spoke up giving Kyungsoo a little heart attack with his harsh tone.

-Chanyeol...

Kyungsoo said quietly, he never saw him angry like that but he already knew that he didn't like that. 

-I'm sorry? I think I don't understand you..

Jongin was sounding and looking confused looking closely at Chanyeol who was getting angrier.

-Why are you coming here? Can't you just leave him alone? Or maybe you told him to come here?

 Chanyeol turned his head to Kyungsoo's. To be honest he got a little too scared of his dark eyes, his low voice and seriousness, like never.

-No, no Chanyeol I didn-

-Are you playing with me or something? 

He frowned and Kyungsoo couldn't believe all the things that he was hearing. Did he really think that Kyungsoo could do something like this to him? 

-Wha-

-You know what? I shouldn't have come here.

He interrupted him again, Kyungsoo couldn't even answer or defend himself because Chanyeol was already on his way to the exit. The fuck.

-Chanyeol!

Righ now Kyungsoo forgot about the work that he is it now, he ignored the Jongin who was still standing at his place and he just ran after Chanyeol who was walking really fast. Outside he caught him, holding his elbow. Before the could ever say something Kyungsoo already started.

-Chanyeol what the fuck. Why can't you just listen to me?

He let his elbow go, furrowing his brows. He wasn't scared of angry Chanyeol anymore because he was angrier right now. He couldn't believe that Chanyeol could just leave like that, accusing him about that.

-What the hell is wrong with you? You didn't even let me say anything and you just left me? Who do you think that I am? You think that what? That I'm fucking with you and Jongin at the same time? Come on, tell me what you think about me.

There were people around them, probably looking at them and thinking crazy things about Kyungsoo but right now he didn't care. Again he didn't let Chanyeol said anything.

-I told him! I fucking told him that I want to break up with him but it is my fault that he keeps coming here every day? I can't do anything about that.

He got weaker now, his voice got more shakily feeling like tears are coming to his eyes. 

-Why didn't you tell me.

He finally spoke up when Kyungsoo had to take a big breath because he had too many emotions.

-Because there wasn't any good time? You were mad because of the exams that you didn't pass and I didn't want to worry you more. 

Chanyeol's face softened, Kyungsoo's emotions also had fallen but instead of being angry and mad he was now hurt of the fact that Chanyeol just so fast lost trust in him. Now there was just silence, Kyungsoo standing outside of the cafe just in his shirt and apron at the end of the winter but it still was cold. 

-I'm going back to work. 

He didn't even look up at Chanyeol just go back fast to the cafe because his body was now a little shakily of the cold. He clenched his fist when Jongin was still here.

-Thanks for the..

He started when Kyungsoo walked past him but he went to the back room.

-coffee.

Jongin just smirked under his nose, leaving a tip on the table and then he finally left.

*

The time was getting longer, nothing unusual because Kyungsoo was sitting from 30 minutes and just looking at the watch waiting for the 5 pm so he could finally go home and don't ever come back here at this place (maybe he will come back after 2 days because he had free days). Finally, the shorter tip reached 5, Kyungsoo took off his apron and left this cursed place. 

Suddenly he wanted to come back because when he just went outside he met Chanyeol, with the small, modest bouquet of flowers and apologising face expression. He wanted to bypass him but he blocked his way.

-Kyungsoo, I'm sorry.

He said quietly, squeezing the bouquet in his hands. Kyungsoo forced himself to look up from the flowers to his face. 

-It's okay. 

He shrugged, making up a bag on his shoulder. It was cold, empty and even dark at that hour.

-It just hurts that you strike me off without listening to me.

Kyungsoo forced a smile, really sad and weak smile while looking at Chanyeol's eyes.

-I really didn't mean that... It was just because of emotions. I'm so sorry, Soo.

He didn't want to talk, not because he was mad, he just couldn't say anything more than _it hurts_ and he couldn't even accept Chanyeol's apologises. This feeling probably will disappear, but now he just couldn't believe him.

-I will go now. I'm tired of this day.

He sighed walking over Chanyeol but he felt his cold hand on his, pulling him again in his direction.

\- Kyungsoo, I love you.


	13. Don't be shy

Kyungsoo thought that he misheard. He was looking at Chanyeol in silence for a long time. It was so sudden, he didn't expect that. 

Chanyeol took the silence wrong. Maybe it was a bad time for confessions like this especially when Kyungsoo was still mad at him. He decided to break this silence which was making his heart break a little because of his lack of response.

-Um...I'm sorry if it's too fast, I just..

Kyungsoo just sighed and without any word took the bouquet from Chanyeol's hands because he was squeezing it too hard, he bit his lips looking at the taller. It was an odd feeling, it all has mixed now. Maybe it was a bad time? Maybe it was Kyungsoo's fault? But right now he couldn't just say the same thing to Chanyeol. His heart was aching.

-Okay.

Was all that Kyungsoo answered after a long time of silence. His tone was so shakily and he felt like with another word he could just cry. All the time in front of his face he could see angry Chanyeol's expression and hear his words for something that he didn't do. But now his face was different, he looked disappointed but Kyungsoo couldn't do anything about that when Chanyeol disappointed him more. 

He expected that Chanyeol will be always by his side, that he will be the first person who will defend him in front of Jongin but he just left, it was a better way for him. There was another silence, Chanyeol didn't know what to say. He was so stupid that he decided to said that, he was regretting it now. It wasn't right moment and he couldn't do anything to make Kyungsoo feel better. The smaller finally looked up.

-I will go now. Thank you for the flowers and that you came.

This time Chanyeol didn't stop him, there wasn't any reason because he knew that Kyungsoo didn't want to talk with him. He didn't say a word letting Kyungsoo go. 

*

When he came back to the flat the first things he could hear were laughs and giggles, even that made him angry. He wasn't in the mood to talk with Sehun especially when he was with Junmyeon so there wasn't any privacy. He went to his room, closing the door and jumping under the sheets in his work clothes. He just took a deep sigh when Sehun knocked on to the door to Kyungsoo's room.

-Soo? Did something happen?

He didn't answer, hiding his face in the pillow. _Leave me alone_ , god. He thought.  

-What are those flowers? 

-Can't you just leave me alone?

He had to lift his head up and it was really tiring. Kyungsoo was listening if Sehun had walked away but he was stubborn. 

-Jongin, again?

-No, they are from Chanyeol.

-What? Why Chanyeol give you flowers?

Damn, Kyungsoo didn't think about his answer. He decided to stay quiet, he still did more than he thought he would do. After that, he covered himself tightly with the sheets ignoring Sehun's knocking when he finally left. 

When Kyungsoo had no air he left the sheets breathing deeply, it wasn't that good idea to hide from the world under the thick sheets. Grimace was all the time on his face, he hated that day, he hated the way he was feeling right now like he did something wrong but after all, he didn't do anything, right? Maybe he was just a little too rude for Chanyeol, but god damn it, can't he just understand him? 

*

Kyungsoo had a first free day after a whole week of hard working so he let himself sleep a little longer than always. But even after twelve hours of sleep, he was still feeling like shit, maybe it wasn't his work's fault at all. 

The first thing to do after he opening his eyes was checking his phone with a hope that he will get a good morning messages from Chanyeol like he always did, but nothing, no notifications. That was one of many reasons that made him go again under the sheets. He rubbed his face thinking about yesterday. Things were going way too fast for Kyungsoo. He was used to a simple life at Jongin's side, just school and then sitting at home and waiting for Jongin to come back from his job. But now he was working, he was making his own decisions, he was having more time for his friends and he was getting closer to Chanyeol. He almost forgot how it is falling for somebody new, feeling all those mixed emotions like butterflies, jealousy or anger just because Chanyeol was more important to him from day to day. He felt like teenager, again but now he was more mature and careful. His heart started to beat fast when he thought about Chanyeol's words. _I love you._ He wanted to hear it again right now, he just wanted to make sure that Chanyeol really loves him, maybe he stopped because of Kyungsoo's stupidy? He was feeling so guilty because of his ugly answer. Okay. Okay, who the fuck would say okay at something like that? What if he could never make it up? What if Chanyeol will never talk with him again? For sure Chanyeol is feeling hurt. Kyungsoo mumbled into the sheets, why does everything have to be that complicated? 

He finally came out from the warm sheets and the first thing he saw when he went out from his room was Junmyeon shirtless. _Ew_.

-Please, can you wear a shirt when I'm with you two?

He rolled his eyes entering the kitchen, his eyes met Sehun's bareback. Again, _ew_. Did Junmyeon even have his own flat? 

-So.. what happened yesterday? Can you finally tell me?

Kyungsoo knew that he will not avoid these questions. He just shrugged continuing to do his breakfast feeling Sehun's gaze on him. 

-Why did you get the flowers from Chanyeol?

He sighed through his nose, turning around slowly to Sehun.

-Just because. 

Sehun wasn't convinced, he knew that something happend yesterday to Kyungsoo and he wasn't telling him the truth. But he knew that Kyungsoo's look, he didn't want to talk about it right now so he let it go knowing that if it's going to be something more serious Kyungsoo will tell him sooner or later. Thank god Sehun stopped asking and thank god that Junmyeon came back with a t-shirt on. 

They were eating a breakfast together when Junmyeon cleared his throat looking up at Kyungsoo and Sehun did the same.

-Kyungsoo, we want to tell you something.

He looked up at them, they were looking and sounding serious and Kyungsoo felt like he was talking with his parents or something.

-Are you gonna ger married?

He lifted his brows, both of them smiled shortly but Junmyeon just shook his head.

-Are you gonna live with us now?

Sehun smiled even more now and when Kyungsoo wanted to say something again he stopped him.

-Can you let him continue, please?

He just rolled his eyes nodding. Kyungsoo heard how Junmyeon sighed hard looking serious as hell.

-We think that it's the right time to tell you... We both know that you want to end your relationship with Jongin and maybe this will help you.

-And maybe not. 

Sehun added and Junmyeon hit the back of his head, they both laughed and Kyungsoo wanted to vomit.

-Um.. Some time ago I told you about the last time when I saw Jongin and it was at his birthday party... So at that day, I saw him kissing a girl... I don't remember how she was looking. 

Junmyeon stopped for a while, trying to read Kyungsoo's expression that didn't change.

-I know it was a long time ago... Almost two years ago, but still..

_Kyungsoo was the type to spend his birthday just with some friends and his boyfriend but Jongin liked it big. From the beginning, he was saying that his birthday party is gonna be big. And it was. Kyungsoo didn't know anyone here because Jongin invited almost everyone from his company. Well, he had a lot of friends._

_They were together just for a while, Jongin cut the cake with Kyungsoo by his side but then his friends took him somewhere to talk probably about business things. Kyungsoo said it's okay because it was his day, he had him for every day so yeah, he could just have fun by himself._

_Finally, somehow, he found Minseok, Junmyeon and Jongdae and he spent the rest of the time with them not seeing Jongin for a while._

_-What the hell did they add to this cake?_

_Junmyeon furrowed his brows, holding his stomach which was making weird sounds and he felt like his intestines were twisting. He excused them and find a restroom. There was just one cab, he was waiting, still waiting and waiting but he felt like his stomach is gonna to explode so he knocked._

_-Excuse me? Can you please make it a little faster?_

_No answer. Maybe there wasn't anyone and he was waiting for nothing? So he took a deep breath opening the doors from the cab. For his luck, there wasn't anyone who was fixing his physiological problem._

_-Jongin?_

_Junmyeon furrowed his brows, maybe he was a little drunk but his eyes were good as always. The man on the toilet was for hundred percent Jongin and the person on his lap was for hundred percent, not Kyungsoo. If Junmyeon remembers well Kyungsoo's hair were short and black. They both looked at Junmyeon right now._

_-Can you leave us?_

_Jongin asked the girl who left without any words, Jongin stood up with confidence in his eyes, in his smirk even in his posture. Junmyeon wasn't scared either, he was just confused because all that he remembers was the happy picture of Jongin with Kyungsoo, he never thought that Jongin could ever do something like that._

_-So?_

_Jongin lifted his brows walking forward which made Junmyeon go back._

_-Are you gonna run now to Kyungsoo?_

_He stopped when Junmyeon's back hit the wall._

_-I wouldn't do it if I were you._

_Jongin smirked hiding his hands into his pocket, walking around the small space near Junmyeon who still didn't say a word._

_-You know that I like you. But you also know that many decisions in our company depend on me, so if you want to keep your job you better stay quiet._

_Jongin smiled really wide patting Junmyeon's shoulder then he left Junmyeon without any word. He was dumbfounded, his stomach stopped hurting him now._ What should I do? _Junmyeon thought to look at his reflection in the mirror, the water was flowing down on his face._  

 _When he came back from the restroom he went to the table where he was sitting with Kyungsoo but from afar he saw his friend sitting on Jongin's lap. They both were laughing and when Junmyeon made an eye contact with Jongin he smirked, kissing Kyungsoo's cheek_.

Kyungsoo looked down trying to remember how his relationship with Jongin was looking two years ago. At that time they were together maybe for five months? Something like that. Kyungsoo was so naive, stupid and in love with Jongin who seemed so perfect for him. Jongin was all that Kyungsoo even wanted.

He remembered the most important things like their first kiss, their first time, their shared flat. Jongin was Kyungsoo's first serious love and Kyungsoo learned from him many things, he had a wonderful time with him, making a lot of beautiful memories.

But it's not a story like from the movie because Jongin started to change. His work was more important than Kyungsoo, he spent there more time than at home. He was getting more stressed starting to drink more and being the person that Kyungsoo didn't know.

_Kyungsoo didn't like big parties, he didn't like clubs and he really didn't like Jongin's friends from work. It wasn't a problem for him to let Jongin go alone but he wanted for Kyungsoo to go with him. At first, Kyungsoo wasn't convinced but that made Jongin annoyed and he got angry starting to yelling at him._

_-Is this a problem for you to go with me? Don't you want to show up with me?_

_-No, Jongin, it's just...I don't know anything about your job._

_-Well then maybe it's time to start interest about your fucking boyfriend? Can't we just go together somewhere at once? All you want to do is stay at home, I'm sick of this!_

_-Why only your friends? Why we can't meet with my friends?_

_-Your friends?_

_Jongin burst out laughing._

_-I don't have time to meet with those fucking losers._

_-Don't call them that._

_-Because of what? Huh? Are you telling me what to do?_

_Kyungsoo couldn't answer because Jongin raised his hand, hitting his cheek with a big swing._

_So he ended up at the party trying to pretend that everything it's okay, nodding and smiling at Jongin's words_ _. Every time when he wanted to leave somewhere Jongin was grabbing his thigh really hard._

_It got even worse when everyone except Kyungsoo was drunk. They drink maybe like five, six drinks when Kyungsoo was still slowly drinking his second._

_At some moment Jongin turned to Kyungsoo._

_-Come one babe, go at the parquet and show us how little whore you are._

_Jongin smirked, Kyungsoo could feel eight, hungry pairs of eyes at him, his cheeks got red. He couldn't do anything right now._

_-Don't be shy, I know how nasty you can be._

_Jongin was speaking loud enough so everyone could hear that, his hand squeezing tightly his thighs. Kyungsoo finally stood up when Jongin's grip was really painful. He felt like someone is slapping his ass and it wasn't Jongin's hand, he didn't care about that._

_-You are so lucky._

_One of them said, probably the eldest and if one of his hands would touch him he would probably throw up at him because he was so disgusting, like all of those men here. Kyungsoo didn't do anything and Jongin got impatient._

_-Excuse me._

_He said casually, gripping his wrist and pulling him somewhere between dancing people. Kyungsoo was shaking because he knew that he didn't do what Jongin wanted him to do. They went outside where no one was here, just the bodyguard._

_-What the fuck was that?_

_Kyungsoo was too scared to answer._

_-You didn't want to act like a whore this time? Maybe now you want, huh?_

_Jongin's hand was now in Kyungsoo's black hair, holding them tightly._

_-You are fucking useless. You just ruin my night, are you happy?_

_He asked, lifting his brows and his hand, pulling Kyungsoo's hair up. The smaller was whimpering under his nose begging Jongin to let his hair go, he probably pulls out half of his hair from his head._

_He finally let it go, before going back to the club Jongin spit at Kyungsoo who was kneeling and massaging his head. After that Kyungsoo took a taxi driving to home._

_He was trying so hard to fall asleep, squeezing his eyes but he was too scared because Jongin could come back at any time._

_Kyungsoo started to shake when the doors started to open._

_Please don't come here, please._

_He was listening to every step Jongin took in the house. Kyungsoo could lock himself up, of course, but that will make him ever angrier._

_-Ah, here you are._

_Jongin said when he entered the bedroom loosening tie on his neck. All the sheets that Kyungsoo was covered in were now on the floor and nothing else could make Kyungsoo feel invisible right now._

_He felt Jongin's tight grip on his ankles when he pulled him to the end of the mattress, his hands now were holding his wrists._

_-Did you have fun today, huh?_

_Kyungsoo could feel Jongin's hot breath mixed with alcohol on his face, his grip was getting more tighter and for sure Kyungsoo will have marks on his wrists._

_-You can make it up now, show me how naughty you are just for me._

_Jongin smirked but Kyungsoo didn't do anything. He didn't want this, the tears were already coming when Jongin harshly took off his pants, turning him on his stomach._

_This has happened several times and he knew that the best way is not screaming or trying to run away because it will make Jongin only more angry, he just have to close his eyes and stay quiet when Jongin was pounding into him without any care. The tears ran down his cheeks ignoring the physical pain because the pain in his chest was bigger.  
_

_Jongin left him without a word when he ended in him, slamming the door and somehow Kyungsoo was happy that it's all for today's punishment._

Kyungsoo grimaced at these memories.

He felt sorry, just a little right now because he was blinded, blinded by his love for Jongin, blinded for trying to believe that after all these things Jongin still, somehow loves him. The girl that he kissed.. well, he probably did that way too many times. That would explain why he was always coming back late from work, sometimes he was staying at the work for the whole night. It would explain why he was getting unconcerned for Kyungsoo. He couldn't just understand why he became so arrogant and so heartless suddenly. Maybe he just stopped loving Kyngsoo, maybe Kyungsoo did something wrong? He just regretted the time that he waste on this relationship, giving Jongin chance after chance believing that maybe somehow Jongin will be as perfect as Kyungsoo remembered. 

His mind was chanting stupid, stupid, stupid. He was really stupid, naive and in love, deeply in love, he was hopelessly in love with Jongin even after all the things he was doing to him. But here he is finally knowing the truth, starting a new chapter, it all seems so difficult and complicated and he wanted to give up on his life especially now when Chanyeol was ignoring him because he is still so stupid and immature but that's the thing that the old Kyungsoo would do. He is now stronger, right? 

He should feel free right now, but he just felt a relief? Yes, it was a relief at some point because he and Jongin were now on the same level. Kyungsoo cheated on Jongin when he kissed Chanyeol, didn't he?

It didn't matter now since he and Jongin are done but it seems like Jongin didn't want to accept that.

-Are you okay?

Sehun bringed him back to earth he just nodded. It was okay, he wasn't that hurt. His heart doesn't react anymore. He finally could said that it's really end, he ended his longest relationship. Kyungsoo didn't want to think if Jongin loved him or no, he was happy that he isn't his property no more, there isn't gonna be crying nights or fear that Jongin could be in a bad mood and forget that Kyungsoo had a feelings too. Even if Jongin shows up at the cafe Kyungsoo felt free, he didn't feel the inner anxiety. 

He would feel really good but Chanyeol... Kyungsoo didn't like unresolved situations and he couldn't be mad at him for too long. At this moment he just wanted to be with Chanyeol, he wanted to tell him that he wants only him, that Chanyeol makes him feel happy and that because of Chanyeol Kyungsoo got freed from Jongin. He wanted to tell him that he want to be with him and that he loves him. 

He looked up at the two boys, they were really worried and confused because of his lack of answer. Maybe they thought that Kyungsoo would cry? He just sighed and then smiled weakly. At the end of his tongue he wanted to tell them about Chanyeol but he stopped himself, it wasn't the time still. He end up his breakfast deciding that he will text Chanyeol first.

To: Chanyeol, hour: 12:48 am

Can we meet?

He took a deep sigh full of hope.

*

Chanyeol answered after a hour writing that he is busy so Kyungsoo decided that he will spend his free day as the fifth wheel in the car with Junmyeon and Sehun. They went together to the expensive restaurant at Junmyeon's expense so Kyungsoo use this situation buying really costly meal. Junmyeon didn't mind. 

Even with the good weather, two of his friends and really good food it wasn't the same withouth Chanyeol. He saw him yesterday but it felt like hundred years. He wanted to spend all his time with Chanyeol but why nothing goes his mind? Sehun probably saw that Kyungsoo is not in a good mood so he sat next to him, putting his arm around the smaller.

-Did something happend?

Kyungsoo just shook his head.

-Is this because of the morning?

He shook his head again even harder.

-No, it's nothing. I'm really okay.

He sighed seeing that Junmyeon came back from the restroom and he cuddled next to Sehun's side. They were all the time together even when Sehun had a school and job and Junmyeon had a job. From the desperation he took his phone again, no messages from Chanyeol.

To: Chanyeol, hour: 5:30 pm

Are you still busy?

He bit his lips holding phone in his hands, Chanyeol always replied fast but now Kyungsoo had to wait a little longer.

From: Chanyeol, hour: 5:56 pm

Yep.

He looked up at the lovers sighing for maybe a forty time in a while. Why Chanyeol had to be so stubborn. Kyungsoo was really sorry for what happened. He leant his chin on his knee trying to keep their conversation.

To: Chanyeol, hour: 5:57 pm

Won't you find any time for me?

From: Chanyeol, hour: 6:02 pm

idk

Kyungsoo now lost his patience.

To: Chanyeol, hour: 6:02 pm

Ok, thanks. 

 He muted his phone putting it into his pocket. He didn't want to talk with him anymore, he didn't want to please him like all that situation was just because of him. He got a little tired of being the one who was caring and fixing things.

He didn't speak a lot today but just because he was with Sehun and Junmyeon he felt...decently. Junmyeon joked saying that Sehun can finally go with him to the club, they also asked if Kyungsoo wants to go too. 

If Chanyeol is so busy that he doesn't have a few minutes for Kyungsoo then he decided that he will go with them.

They went to the club. At first Kyungsoo wasn't in a mood for drinking. The last time he was drinking was at meeting in Baekhyun's house and he didn't want to repeat it. But when Sehun went to the restroom Junmyeon started to talk with him saying that he should relax after a hard week, he told him that he really deserve that and Kyungsoo believed him. It was true, right? He was working the whole week withouth any free day so he started with a beer that he was drinking slowly with Sehun and Junmyeon then they order another beer and another starting to choose some weird drinks instead of beer. 

Did people always feel good after the alcohol? Because Kyungsoo was feeling even worse than in the day. He didn't want to dance with his friends, he lost them somewhere sitting at the bar because going from the bar to the table was too tiring. He was sipping a drink looking for some friendly faces, if there was anyone he would probably start to cry in that person shoulder. He had an impression like he fucked up everything that was borning betweetn him and Chanyeol for the last month. He was mad at himself but also sad that Chanyeol decided to just ignore him, it was worse than anything, really. But Kyungsoo deserves this. Who the fuck answer on I love you just with Ok. Ok. He really hated himself.

*

-Hello?

Sehun asked with Junmyeon on his lap. They were at the back of club when his make out with Junmyeon interruped the phone from Chanyeol. It wouldn't be weird if not that it's already 11 pm and Chanyeol usually didn't call at time like that. He giggled when Junmyeon sucked the sking on his sensitive neck.

-Um, Sehun? Are you with Kyungsoo? I'm trying to contact with him but he didn't answer.

Chanyeol knew why Kyungsoo wasn't answering his phone but maybe Sehun will force him to talk with him.

-Uhhh-

Sehun sighed, looking around. His head was dizzy, alcohol was working in his veins, every face was looking the same. The people were now more than an hour ago and he thought that he will never find Kyungsoo among those people.

-I lost him.

He finally said something.

-How did you lose him? Where are you?

Chanyeol got up from the couch, worried because Sehun was sounding weir and he could hear a music and some laugh near Sehun. 

-Where are we?

Sehun asked Junmyeon and he just laughed pressing his cheek to Sehun's phone.

-We are at the night club.

Chanyeol furrowed his brows being more and more confused.

-Is Kyungsoo in that club too?

It took way too long for Sehun to answer this. 

-I don't know, maybe... or maybe he left.

-Did he drink something?

-Yeaah, he drank a lot, way more than me.

Junmyeon laughed into the phone telling Sehun to disconnect, he did that then he left his phone on the couch his hands coming back to Junmyeon's ass and their lips crashed again getting lost in the kiss.

Chanyeol just wore a jacket going to his car. He was mad at Sehun because he left him alone especially when they both knew how Kyungsoo is after too much amout of alcohol.

Kyungsoo was talking to everyone about everything but they were ignoring him knowing this type of stranger at the club the drunk and annoying one. He didn't know how much he drank, he didn't know what he is drinking and he didn't know how much his bill is gonna be, he didn't even know where Sehun and Junmyeon is. His head was so heavy and dizzy that he let himself rest his head on some stranger's shoulder but he guessed that he doesn't like that because he left really fast.

Kyungsoo whined getting up and by accident he knocked somebody's beer on the floor. For his misfortune the man was big and really muscular. He started to yelling at the smaller, he wasn't sure what he was saying but he was drunk too and ready to hit Kyungsoo in his face. He almost did than when someone stood between them and the stranger was pushed back by a Chanyeol.

-I'm really sorry for your beer.

Chanyeol said fast, pulling out his wallet and he gave the man money file.

-Oh my god, Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol said seeing the smaller with his shirt squashed and red face. He looked really not good. Kyungsoo looked up and just now he recognized Chanyeol smiling softly at him. The taller helped him sat down, his long fingers around Kyungsoo's chin lifting his head up. When he touched his red cheeks where the table was marked he felt something sticky. Chanyeol furrowed his brows asking Kyungsoo many times is everything okay, did somebody hit him but Kyungsoo was just nodding his head all the time. His head was too heavy that he almost fall down if not Chanyeol's hands that were holding him. If he would came a minute later Kyungsoo will got hurt and Chanyeol just couldn't imagine this. He was so worried about Kyungsoo, he knew that it was just because of alcohol but he was so drunk that probably he didn't know what is his name.

He was holding him tight, going between hundred of people finally getting outside then to his car. Chanyeol made sure that Kyungsoo's seatbelts are fastened after he sits next to him.

-Can you please tell me what happened?

He asked quietly seeing that Kyungsoo hugged his knees to his chest then he leaned his cheek on his knee making a noises close to sounds of weeping. Chanyeol leaned over him putting his hand on Kyungsoo's back, stroking his back.

-Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol said quietly when Kyungsoo's weeping was now louder and he couldn't understand anything. 

-Please tell me what happened. 

Chanyeol was now closer to Kyungsoo ignoring the scent of alcohol. The smaller was shaking and if he could he would just put the smaller boy under his jacket.

-I'm s-sorry.

Kyungsoo finally said not opening his eyes. Chanyeol sighed heavily, his hand still moving along his spine

-It's okay. Don't cry, please.

Chanyeol lifted up a little, kissing the top of his head. Then he sat again, his hand now on Kyungsoo's warm cheek, wiping his tears away.

-I'm gonna drive you to home.

His heart hurts when he was looking at the smaller, how he let this happen?

-To your home?

Kyungsoo asked guietly with Chanyeol's hand on his cheek snuggling into her. Chanyeol placed a kiss on his temple with a soft _Yes._

-That's good.

His breath was now queit and his body stopped shake. Chanyeol could tell that the smaller had just fallen asleep so he took his hand carefully, helping Kyungsoo lay on the seat. He was driving carefully looking at Kyungsoo for almost the whole drive.

When they arrived Chanyeol took the smaller on his hands, it wasn't easy closing the car and opening the door with Kyungsoo in his arms but he didn't want to wake him up. The first thing he do was laid Kyungsoo on his bed. His sleep was tight so Chanyeol took his shoes and covered him in sheets.

The redhead didn't leave after that. He leant against the door frame looking at Kyungsoo who was looking so innocent right now. Chanyeol wanted to protect him, he wanted to be always for Kyungsoo, he wanted to take care of him and never let that happend again. He wouldn't forgive himself if something will happen to Kyungsoo. He wanted to take all of the bad emotions from Kyungsoo. He kissed his forehead and then decided that he is gonna sleep on the couch.


End file.
